• February 13, 2012

arrest

Massachusetts has discovered a new place to try to hunt down its wanted criminals: the Rhode Island state legislature! It seems kind of obvious in retrospect, only because the Ocean State is kind of a sad, drug-addled dump from what we hear. Rep. Daniel Gordon Jr. was arrested in Rhode Island for failing to appear in Massachusetts [...]

Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus’ birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: “It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January [...]

It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs are going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople and their drunken wives and rent boys wreak havoc on the icy suburban streets. Congratulations to Charlene Lugar, wife of Republican Senator Dick Lugar, for winning the “First of the Season” [...]

Everybody thought it was so awesome when President Obama invited over the hostile white cop and the indignant black professor for domestic beers at his house, but did you know he is not even letting these people inside? “‘[W]eather permitting, the three men will meet at a picnic table outside the Oval Office,” reports the [...]

As approximately 15 bajillion tipsters have excitedly emailed us, Sarah Palin’s daughter’s soon-to-be-baby-daddy’s mom has been arrested for something having to do with drugs. On the one hand, this is totally non-news, because trashy white ladies get arrested every day for — well, whatever Sherry Johnston was arrested for, nobody’s saying. Dealing pot? Cooking meth? [...]

A famous national Democratic leader, “State Sen. Derrick Shepherd, D-Marrero,” in Louisiana, has been arrested for … well, we can’t really figure out what for, exactly, but it involves lap dancers, in his house, plus maybe his mom and sister? Punching an ex-girlfriend in the stomach, after breaking into her house? Oh, and he is [...]