barack obama
Mitt Romney Ad Magically Turns McCain Advisor’s Words Into Obama’s
by Kaia Mursi
The quantum of total emptiness sashaying about in a flesh suit and calling itself “Mitt Romney” just cannot catch a break, in the polls! Mitt wants this presidency thing so very badly, you can practically taste the flopsweat. (Look for low notes of malted milk and Brylcreem in this year’s vintage.) Here is Mittens’ latest [...]
Debt Supercommittee Fulfills Its Promise To Make Everything Worse
Hooray, the Dow Jones decided to start its day with a two hundred point crash in apparent surprise at history’s least surprising news ever, that somehow a few months of mindless bickering between the twelve members of the bipartisan congressional deficit-reduction “supercommittee” has — how is it possible? you ask — officially amounted to abject [...]
Annnd … Shepard Fairey Remixes His Obama-Hope Poster For #OWS
by Ken Layne
People of a certain age (22?) may remember a distinct feeling of hope back in 2008, when a certain candidate for president symbolized a hoped-for end to the pent-up anger, disappointment and disillusionment of the Bush Junior years, the reduced-expectations era of Kerry and Gore and (gah!) Lieberman and Edwards, the reliably chaotic economic bubbles [...]
On ‘Day of Action,’ White House Wants You To Buy Their Beer Koozies
Is there “some stuff” going on in the country today, maybe? Sure, a few things, like shopping day with Joe Biden! Here for example from some freshly-arrived Barack Obama re-election campaign spam promoting their online store is this convenient beer koozie with Joe’s goofy grinning mug on it. And what’s the “best part” of showing [...]
Today the bruisers at the SEIU (Something Something Internet Union?) threw their sizable and (some say) borderline criminal muscle behind your Kenyan president Barack Obama’s re-election effort, dealing a crushing blow to a Republican party long considered a steadfast champion of workers’ rights. Ha, no. If you had any hint of an inkling that the [...]
Did Bum Who Maybe Visited #OccupyDC Shoot At White House?
by Wonkette Jr.
It would be helpful to the authorities if some of these Occupy protesters would do something a little more guilty than being an Iraq veteran shot in the head by a policeman, wouldn’t it? Let’s see let’s see, did anything weird happen about a week ago that could be conclusively linked to Wall Street’s desire [...]
Obama Says His 2012 Ads Will Just Show GOP Debate Clips, ‘Verbatim’
by Wonkette Jr.
Barack Obama is campaigning, we guess in Asia? And he told the editors of Univision News that his re-election strategy doesn’t require any nasty ads or name-calling. “We may just run clips of the Republican debates verbatim,” he told the Spanish-language network. “We won’t even comment on them, we’ll just run those in a loop.” [...]
Mean Buzzkill Obama Cancels Beloved World Leader Costume Party
Joyless schoolmarm Barack Obama unceremoniously decided to axe murder history’s last remaining awesome thing, the “ha ha, look at all the heads of state dressed up as goofy commoners” party time photo-op traditionally held each year for leaders at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation summit. But this year’s meeting is in luscious Hawaii, which makes aloha [...]
Swag Industry Does Not Care For Obama’s War on Government Swag
Barack Obama’s latest hard-charging attack on federal waste is a presidential directive complete with triumphant press release officially ordering government agencies to cut back on the purchase of promotional products, aka “swag,” that will somehow save taxpayers millions of dollars they probably did not realize they were spending on Supreme Court-themed Magic 8-balls or ATF [...]
Mitt Romney Promises Exciting New Endless War With Iran If Elected
Happy Veterans Day, it is now time to reflect on how America needs another insane trillion-dollar war, for Unity probably, and also Fear! (Afghanistan is not doing the trick these days, boo.) Manly man Mitt Romney TO THE RESCUE with his pasty career corporate office-dweller chest puffed out as far as it will go in [...]
Obama Caves To Environmental Groups, Election 2012 Has Begun
by Wonkette Jr.
Barack Obama’s administration has been, uhm, terrible when it comes to environmental issues. Not that he ever had any kind of “environmental record” beyond believing some coal industry press release about a fantasy form of fuel called “clean coal,” but the assumption had (wrongly) been that a Liberal Democrat might be somewhat sympathetic to the [...]
Evil Barack Obama Now Waging Jihad On Christmas Trees
Even your Xmas holiday decorations are not safe from a secret Mooslim like Barack Obama, who today probably realized for the first time that the National Christmas Tree Association filed a request to the Department of Agriculture to collect a fifteen-cent fee on every live Christmas tree sold this year by a large grower, to [...]
Big Election Wins For Libs Obama Had Nothing To Do With Still About Obama
OMG CRAZED LIBTARD GODZILLA ATE WINGNUTS FOR LUNCH (and then had horrible indigestion). Scenes from the massacre yesterday: Kochsucker thug John Kasich’s Ohio union-busting law was demolished; in Mississippi, the criminally insane anti-abortion “personhood” amendment was shredded, a new GOP-sponsored Maine law banning Election Day registration went up in flames, Republicans got hammered in Kentucky, [...]
Useless promotional gear is an important part of American culture. After all, the Founding Fathers were all wearing Ovaltine sweatshirts and Livestrong bracelets when they created this country, which is probably why Barack Obama is now doing everything he can to destroy yet another part of our American way of life. On Wednesday, Obama will [...]
Hilarious Campaign Ad Proves Obama Thinks America Is Lazy
by Wonkette Jr.
You all know Barack Obama to be an America-hating half-Muslin, but what you didn’t know, maybe, is that he also thinks Americans are lazy according to this very funny Rick Perry ad that takes a recent Obama soundbite criticizing American business strategy out of context. And while health care reform/spreading jihad/not getting born here are [...]