ben nelson
Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning has some kind of rambling magical woodland children’s bedtime story about coons ‘n beetles ‘n rat carcass to share with everybody. Here is your Google translation from the original Wingnut Gibberish: “If the EPA leaves buckets of insects scattered around the bulldozers at an abandoned construction site, the poor turn [...]
Sure, mini-game proprietor Sen. Ben “Wario” Nelson spends most of his time ambling about in his tree fort, designing challenging mini-games. But sometimes the nation’s lowly rich people come under threat from our evil executive branch. And Nelson must put on his green tights and grab his autographed Kevin Costner crossbow and spring into action [...]
Good ol’ Ben Nelson is liberal America’s favorite Democrat to hate, when they aren’t hating semi-Democrat Joe Lieberman for general douchebaggery, or Obama for failing at everything they hoped for him all the time. Well, did you think that maybe Ben Nelson is sick of you guys, too? Tired of all your carping about how [...]
Monstrous Nebraska Sen. Ben Nelson is being very liberal again, just like he was when he “jumped the shark” and personally added “free abortions for all” to the health care bill last year. This time around, he is planning to vote “yes” in committee on the fancy new “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” compromise, giving the [...]
It’s the third vote on whether to allow discussion of financial/Wall Street reform legislation in the U.S. Senate! WHO WILL WIN? We are looking at C-SPAN because why not. John Kerry’s lurching around, deals being made, under-desk handjobs given, it is truly Democracy In Action. We will liveblog it for the next two minutes.
You commies are always so upset with terrible Sen. Ben Nelson that you miss the whole friggin’ point of his existence: Ben Nelson shits humor. Think of the two funniest things ever, now. That’s right: Ben Nelson was the comedian behind both the knock-knock construction and the JFK assassination! And as the Washington Post tells [...]
Poor old Ben “Wario” Nelson is having such trouble proving to the Real Americans of Nebraska — the Most Real Americans out there, yikes! — that the pending expansion of health insurance conducted entirely through the existing for-profit private corporate market is not a Kenyan Afro-Socialist takeover of their guns for Allah. Tonight he will [...]
TAKE. HIS. AIR FORCE BASE. AND STEAL HIS CATTLE. “Nebraska Senator Ben Nelson threw a Christmas deadline for passage of health-care legislation into further doubt, rejecting a compromise on abortion and saying he doesn’t see how fellow Democrats can resolve all his objections.” Hmm, it’s almost painfully obvious right now that this has been Barack [...]
WHAT KIND OF ABORTION BILL DOESN’T PROPERLY ADDRESS ABORTION? This is quite a line from frumpy prosthetic muppet Ben Nelson, as he’s declaring that he won’t vote for cloture for the latest health care bill, naturally: “There’s a lot of improvement on the legislation but the basic question on funding for abortion hasn’t been answered [...]
Good lord. Senator Ben “Wario” Nelson has introduced the “United States War Bonds Act of 2009″ this afternoon, “which would authorize the Treasury Department to begin selling bonds to fund the wars.” But this is superfluous, because we already have such bonds: they are called United States Treasury Bonds, which we use to finance any [...]
Nebraskan diarrhea puddle Ben Nelson has now issued another aggravating line in the sand for himself on health care reform, because he just really really doesn’t want to vote for it at all: “Sen. Ben Nelson told reporters today he will filibuster the health care bill if it doesn’t contain an abortion amendment similar to [...]
BEN NELSON WILL NOT INCUR THE PROMISED/FEARED WRATH OF YOUR WONKETTE: The Democratic Senator will vote “aye” on the health care bill, ergo the celebratory Americana disco accoutrement at left. “This weekend, I will vote for the motion to proceed to bring that debate onto the Senate floor. The Senate should start trying to fix [...]
