bermuda
An actress who hilariously portrayed a representative from Bloomberg’s office during Saturday’s weaponized drum circle around the mayor’s mansion has been fired from her job at a marketing firm. Why? Eh, got to keep the people on edge. If everybody starts protesting, well, there would be fear and confusion in the corporate boardrooms!
President Hillary Clinton and her husband, President Bill Clinton, will be staying in the romantical island spot called Bermuda this weekend. You know who else is in Bermuda, right now, and forever? An unfortunate band of Uighurs, who will be conscripted into sexual slavery administering erotic pedicures to the Clintons. Pray for their souls. [Bermuda [...]
Known lamer Hu Jintao, the President of China, had to cut short his stay at the boring, disorganized Italian G8 kegger today so as to “deal with” deadly riots in his country’s northwest Xinjiang Uighur Autonomous Region, boo. (At least that’s his excuse; he just didn’t want to answer gay Europe’s treehugger questions about the [...]
Hot damn it’s a good thing the United States refused to allow “these Uighur characters” to resettle in Northern Virginia because, aside from all the terrorism they were planning to plan in your backyard, against you, they are shiftless beach bums who refuse to ever take jobs. You know those slobs who go on Spring [...]
The whole notion of a “British Commonwealth” was supposedly just a cutesy, historic relic to rake in tourism dollars for everyone, and to allow England to pretend it’s still important, right? Well that may have been the situation at, say, 7:30 a.m. on September 11, 2001, but only a couple hours later the world changed, [...]
These lucky ducklings! All they had to do was spend a mere seven or eight years in prison because they happened to be in Afghanistan when the US invaded, and now they are getting sent to exotic islands all around the world in exchange for their troubles. Yesterday we learned that a bunch of Uighurs [...]
