• February 12, 2012

beyonce

Finally, after a few boring weeks of now-forgotten aviation incidents and answering kids’ dumb questions over and over, our FLOTUS had a pretty great week! And she deserved it, because the stress from all that bin Laden business was starting to make the vegetables wilt. But the blood of Osama has revived the veggies, and [...]

We’re not sure if the AOL-email-chain-level wingnuts are furious about this yet, but they will be for about six months. That’s Jay-Z and the Beyonce lady with friends posing in the White House Situation Room the other day, just cold launchin’ nukes at white cities. The Weekly Standard is sounding the wingnut alarm. [Weekly Standard]

Overworked, Ann Taylor-wearing women of DC (and especially Hill Women): it’s time to learn a thing or two about sex appeal. Hip-hop dance teacher and choreographer Shira Goldberg will be teaching the dance moves from Beyonce’s music video “All the Single Ladies: (Put A Ring on It)” in a workshop this Sunday at First Class, [...]

There’s so much romantic goodwill out there tonight, for the Obamas, that people are using home video cameras to videotape the teevee showing the new First Couple’s First Dance. It is touching, this outpouring of inept support!

We have finally solved a great mystery here at Wonkette International Headquarters! We kept seeing these insane commercials on the teevee, with Beyoncé encouraging us to upgrade to digital cable while she writhed around in golden garbs and held a menacing trinket in her teeth reading “UPGRADE.” Since when, we asked, did Beyoncé care about [...]