bill clinton
Fine, fine, we will post this. Bush Junior and Dollar Bill Clinton are in Haiti, which is a good thing.
BILL CLINTON NOT DEAD, YET: Uh oh. America’s “first black president,” Bill Clinton, had his bum ticker go nuts again today and almost died, in New York, where he lives with his wife Hillary Rodham-Clinton. But he’s alive, and promises to save Haiti again: “Following a visit to his cardiologist, he underwent a procedure to [...]
Look everyone, it’s America’s two greatest presidents, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, taking back the White House to restore Capitalism to America. They urge you to donate to Haiti for some reason… [googles "haiti problem ?" ]… oh GOD, you should really donate to Haiti!! The best part comes at the end, when Barack [...]
GEORGE W. BUSH TO SAVE HAITI: Greatest fuckin’ hero ever George W. Bush has killed his father, and now he gets to be Bill Clinton’s latest ex-president pal! They will travel to Haiti to… hmm what’s a tired Bush joke thing for this… they will CLEAR ALL THE BRUSH! from Haiti’s streets. HAHAHHA, it’s what [...]
Mike Johanns and 19 fellow Republican senators demand hearing over Bill Clinton’s rumored sexual relationship with intern Monica Lewinsky in 3…2…1…
How far we’ve come, as a nation! Only a few generations ago, Jews were not allowed to be famous politicians, and could not golf with elitists such as Tiger Woods. But now, thanks to racial progress, America may soon perhaps have its first converted-Jewish former first daughter! According to a completely speculative blog post on [...]
Love is in the air! Famous first daughter Chelsea Clinton is getting married to some guy she’s shacked up with, in Manhattan. He’s a Wall Street hotshot, and everybody loves those guys. And his dad is a convicted felon who recently got out of FEDERAL PRISON. The Clintons: Still making everybody else look better. [Chicago [...]
Hot on the heels of yesterday’s impossibly exciting news of the opportunity to pay at least $70 to hear Presidents George W. Bush and Bill Clinton sitting in adjacent armchairs and mumble talking points in a vaguely conversational rhythm: a cancellation of that exact thing! Apparently everyone was too into it, and this is why [...]
Bill Clinton and George W. Bush will simultaneously perform impressions of relevance at Radio City Music Hall, where in February they will “debate topics ranging from the economy, to foreign policy, to the current administration.” Details are still fuzzy re: why anyone suggested this in the first place, what anyone believes the stakes to be [...]
