Wonkette

On the website of VOLPAC — the PAC of former Senate majority leader Dr. Bill Frist — there is a “2008 Republican Leadership Survey,” where the good Doctor Frist wants your take on some of the important issues this election season. You know, things along the lines of, “If the Democrats claim to want to do such great things for America, then why are they gay?” Or, as Stephen Colbert likes to say, “George W. Bush — great president, or the greatest president?” Some of our favorites from this survey, below. MORE »

The GOP primary’s great white hope, Hollywood Fred Thompson, is either purposefully trying to derail his campaign before Halloween so he can lazily enjoy the winter holidays, or he’s so Reaganesque that he’s going senile before the election. Nothing else could explain his bizarre tone-deaf response to questions about the southern conservative primary voter’s own personal version of the Crucifixion story: the tragic removal of Terry Schiavo’s feeding tube two years ago. MORE »

* Tony Blair is bigger than a poodle, he’s really much closer to like a Jack Russel Terrier or a Beagle or something. [The Sun]
* And he just got pretty much the shittiest reassignment ever. [LGF]
* Bush has to change his policy on Iraq or else a long time from now there may be enough votes in the Senate to cut off war funding. By then, all of America will speak Spanish and most American cities will be like Houston in the film Rollerball. [Passport]
* It’s sort of sweet that Rudy Guiliani so loves to felate, but he really should take a second to come up for air. [Pandagon]
* Tancredo finds his voice through vegetables. [CNN]
* The sword is in fact mightier than the pen, it turns out. [Iraq Slogger]
* What, so now all of a sudden you believe in science? Nice try, nutcase. [Hot Air]
* Pointing out Mexican inferiority and latent homosexuality is far more constructive a solution to the immigration situation than any fence ever could be. [IMAO]
* Republicans get all misty thinking of the good ol’ days under Bill “Honest Abe ” Frist. [Redstate]
* There are so many successful New York politicians in the race for president, it’s high time to get a couple of failed ones into the mix. [Political Insider]
* The surge is working, depending on what you mean by “surge” and “working.” [WorldWideStandard]

Remember when Bill Frist was going to run for President? Oh, how we wish he’d followed through — if there’s room enough for Jim Gilmore at the far end of the debate stage surely we can squeeze our favorite cat butcher up there too. MORE »

This week, Mia Farrow, Mike Arcuri, John Boehner, Byron Dorgan, Marc Racicot, Henry Kissinger, Peter Welch, Charlie Rose, Bill Frist, Don Cheadle, Kal Penn, and Adam Kokesh were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump.

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* Dick Cheney’s going warring in Iran whether Bush wants to or not. [HuffPo]
* Ron Paul thinks Rudy Giuliani doesn’t know shit about 9/11. [Hit & Run]
* It’s time for Bill Frist to perform open heart surgery on another sick gorilla. [Passport]
* Dennis Hastert is two years late on everything. [Political Insider]
* LeBron James won’t dunk on Darfur. [Think Progress]

It was a bad weekend for Rudy Giuliani. First, his BFF Bernie Kerik is about to be indicted for being too bold and effective on 9/11 (and fucking Judith Regan, which has been a felony since a 9/12 executive order). And, oh hey, it turns out that Rudy’s head of the Department of Investigations might’ve had up to five meetings with the mayor to talk about crazy, corrupt ol’ Bernie. But all that stuff’s complicated — much more newsworthy: Rudy’s 12th wife will cut open and brutally vivisect your dog. MORE »

* Hillary Clinton’s “One Week, One Million” fund-raising campaign taps into the base impulses of Net surfers. [TechPresident]
* The eyebrow-plucking alligator shoe wearing set is behind you all the way. [GQ]
* Cunningham/Foggo clusterfuck moves on from Watergategate/Hookergate to Highestlevelsofpowercoveringupreallyheavyshitgate. [TPM]
* The 1/2 Hour News Hour is decidedly less funny that the 23 1/2 other hours on Fox, says Olbermann. [C&L]
* How about a vice president who’s on teevee any hour of day or night? McCain/Thompson ‘08. [Hotline on Call]
* Billy Frist the kitty murderer gets older today. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]
* September 11, 2001: the best day of Rudy Giuliani’s life. [Media Matters]

We have the oldest Senate ever, reports the Politico. The chamber of old white men is older than ever before, because modern medical science won’t allow rich people to die until they’re good and ready these days. MORE »

* Bill Frist has found a moonshine still, and ain’t comin’ down from rocky top — reckon he never will. [Political Wire]
* Dehmokratz bad, Tom hate dehmokratz. Tom like cigar, mmm, cigar. [Think Progress]
* Barack Obama makes an announcement everyone knew was coming. [YouTube]
* But he won’t be president until he stops dressing so Ahmadinejadily. [Political Animal]
* You want to see Hillary Clinton do icy-bitch? ‘Cause she can do icy-bitch, oh boy can she do icy-bitch. [Freakonomics]
* World dictators get all the teen-aged ass Mark Foley never did. [Radar]
* In Vietnam — as in politics and the bedroom — Jim Webb is using live ammunition. [The Swamp]
* Meet your new Fox analyst: Rick Santorum. [TVNewser]