bill o’reilly
Frenzied teevee oaf Bill O’Reilly (of the beloved family sitcom The O’Reilly Factor) had a brainwave one day, possibly while overhearing his Lincoln Town Car chauffeur listening to the Ramones: Why not divide humanity into “Pinheads” and “Patriots?” Bill O’Reilly is a lot like Jesus, you see, who came to divide people into “patriots and [...]
Team Sarah Worried That Fox News Is Becoming Anti-Palin, Not Sure Where They Will Get Their News Now
Team Sarah knows that the only place truth can possibly exist is in their teevee box, when it’s tuned to Fox News. But what happens when Fox News talks about Sarah Palin and it’s not in the religiously masturbatory way they do at Team Sarah? Is Fox News starting to HIDE the truth that Sarah [...]
Bill O’Reilly had Glenn Beck on his show last night, and he seems threatened that Beck sees no reason to cover culture-war issues and very threatened that Beck doesn’t care if gay marriage is legalized. “Do you believe — do you believe that gay marriage is a threat to the country in any way?” O’Reilly [...]
HERE IS THAT JON STEWART THING WITH BILL O’REILLY: Good thing nobody has jobs anymore, because if they did, they would have to spend today working instead of looking at this interminable video, which is maybe interesting? Or not? Jon Stewart looks awfully … gray, in the face. “You’re lucky you’re not hanging from your [...]
Although, you can tell it’s probably more of an A-, which is essentially just a B+ that wept in the professor’s office after class. Also, it so good the poll is set against the background of outer space, because of the word “scientific.” [Fox News/A+ for tipster "Melissa P.'s" first year as President of the [...]
Sarah Palin made her highly anticipated debut as a news commentator on the teevee last night, DID YOU WATCH IT? No? Did you check the Fox News this morning and not watch the clip there, because it wanted you to install Flash Player 10, which breaks other parts of your Internets when you install it? [...]
“Faceless pundits talks around the issues, not about them…celebrity gossip passes as breaking news…and the liberal bias spewed by the mainstream media makes them like less like a public service and more like an extension of the White House Press Office.” Dates in Westbury, NY and Tampa are already sold out! People do not hesitates [...]
Celebrated chief birther and dentist-lawyer Orly Taitz held a protest outside the Fox News building in New York City today, for publicity. Supposedly Bill O’Reilly called the birthers crazy, and this was very offensive to Orly Taitz. Approximately four people showed up for the protest! Here’s Orly talking to a nice fellow from Africa. CAPTION [...]
Tee hee, god knows what the Fox News programming must be like tonight, the night after a funeral for murdered soldiers, but apparently Bill O’Reilly has to go so far as to play “devil’s advocate” to suggest that “we can’t kill all the Muslims” — as in, that’s more or less what his guest’s argument [...]
O’Reilly’s figured it out!
It begins thusly: Bill O’Reilly announces that it is a good thing the public option is dead, because now the President can work on making sure the government will start to provide cost-effective, reliable health care for people who cannot afford private insurance. And then some gal from the Heritage Foundation is like, “Hmm, are [...]
Spike Lee is, according to Bill O’Reilly, a tiny tiny little man who set up O’Reilly with the porniest line ever — “You find any weapons of mass destruction in here?” — and instead of whipping out his massive loofah and saying “Yeah … IN MY PANTS,” O’Reilly just laughed. Lame. [YouTube]
