birthers
Donald Trump has done just about everything he can to lead this country. #1: He brought the birth-certificate issue into this campaign. #2: He hired a team to go to Hawaii to investigate. And now #3: He loves this country so much he is spending his spare time applying his own gifted mind to the [...]
Donald Trump has certainly given a very interesting interview to the Today show, considering he’s going to be our next president of the United States and all! “Let me just say something. There’s nobody more militaristic than me.” Cool! It’s about time we had a president with no experience in politics who is upfront about [...]
Suburban Minnesota monster Michele Bachmann is celebrating her 55th birthday today, probably by playing “pin the gun on the Kenyan.” When the certifiably insane foster-baby farmer won her congressional district seat back in 2006 (the “Year of the Democrats,” haha), who knew that she was less a clownish anomaly than the actual future of the [...]
Donald Trump’s increasingly ridiculous little overtures to the birthers and Teabaggers may be just a play to get attention for himself, but it turns out those people don’t need much pandering or authenticity to jump on board, because Trump is now running a strong second to Mitt Romney in New Hampshire primary polling. This is [...]
Since the Legendary Days of Horrors Past when our SPY magazine would arrive by postal mail with yet another vicious attack on short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump, people have wondered about the uncouth troglodyte’s horrible hairpiece thing hanging over his neanderthal forehead and beady eyes. Now, perhaps, the mystery is solved: The Donald is either building [...]
How does a bland lone-horse candidate like Tim Pawlenty get attention when Donald Trump’s fake presidential contest is much more interesting? Not the birther “issue!” According to Pawlenty, he watched CNN say they saw Obama’s birth certificate, and he trusts them. What? Here’s Pawlenty’s plan: “Our role is not to be one of many, it’s [...]
Jabbering fucktard clownfish Michele Bachmann was one of the twelve or so teabaggers to “protest” in Washington today, by utterly failing to have a protest. But at least she posed with this sign announcing that she had escaped from Kenya, and that this strange white suburban wingnut village in Kenya was now missing its main [...]
Responding to criticism that the birth certificate he released Monday was unofficial and easily forged, probable illegal Kenyan Donald Trump released a whole new document yesterday, one that he says is the real official document this time. But why does Trump have so many birth certificates? Will he release yet another new one tomorrow? Where [...]
The lines have been drawn. [Twitter via Wonkette operative "Abe Sauer"]
Because cartoon rich person Donald Trump constantly needs new attention for his fake presidential run, he’s recently decided he’s a birther. Sure thing, Donald Trump. How brave of you to take time off from your important job fake-firing and fake-hiring former celebrities to shed light on this pivotal fake issue. But once the “Trump is [...]
Across this dumb nation, state legislators are introducing bills against “Sharia,” whoever she might be, and bills requiring all new presidents to have “long form birth certificates,” whatever those happen to be. Mother Jones reports on this radio appearance by Tennessee state senator Mae Beavers, author of SB 1091, “a bill that would require presidential [...]
2012 DILDO NEWS: “The most recent vibrator is Mike Huckabee,” reports George Will. George Will will not allow Republicans who talk about Barack Obama’s Kenyan birth to be the next president of the United States. That is uncouth. So, like a sporting gentleman, he will refer to them as dildos until they go away.
Dear Birthers: It’s okay, I’m white. Listen up, you guys: I like what you’re doing. I do. It’s very entertaining. Even your name is funny! Your undying Birther devotion to your initial impulse that the president of the United States “doesn’t seem like he’s from around these parts” is adorable. But I’m afraid this birth [...]
