• February 15, 2012

black friday

Pepper spray was a-spraying, knives were a-stabbing, guns were a-shooting, muggers were a-mugging, punchers were a-punching — it was a “Black Friday” celebration that truly proved if you’re not a part of the worldwide anti-corporate protests, then you’re actually a very stinky part of the problem. But the Gold Medal in Applied Assjerk Consumerism goes [...]

America’s least favorite current president, Barack Obama, was nearly murdered in a basketball game today. He got 12 stitches! Apparently his face got in a fight with somebody’s elbow — maybe belonging to that Reggie Love character? — and next thing you know Joe Biden was about this close to nuking Alaska.

WalMart! There is nothing quite like a blood riot in a WalMart to make you want to go anywhere else, even Afghanistan. Enjoy this footage from “Black Friday,” the magic day in America when the citizens don’t even pretend to be human. [YouTube]