Wonkette

Here is John McCain lamenting the Information Age in typical hilarious old-man fashion. First there are “the cables,” and then talk radio, and of course bloggers, whom he hates. Finally, something we can all agree on. [YouTube via BuzzFeed]

• D.C. BLOGGER SHOT: Media Consortium reporter Brian Beutler was gunned down in Adams Morgan “pretty much directly in front of Andrew Sullivan’s apartment.” Beutler and a buddy were walking from the Black Cat to The Diner late Tuesday night when two teen-age gangsters tried to mug them, and Beutler was shot at least once. He’s in the hospital, his spleen was removed, and he’s supposed to make a full recovery. Beutler’s been reporting on U.S. torture and the ongoing FISA outrage. [DCist/Reason/Gawker]

OH GOD: “Republican John McCain’s campaign has begun holding regular conference calls with leftwing bloggers and blogs that focus on single issues such as healthcare and the environment.” Hey, do we get a call, or have all the references to Cindy McCain being a pill-popper and John McCain being the Antichrist kind of nixed that? Give us a call, WALLLLLLNUTS! [Newsmax]

Christ, the Pennsylvania primary isn’t until April 22 and at its current rate, the Internet will have long since committed suicide, over and over and over again. Over the last week, many bloggers have gotten so bored with the lack of actual news that they have become werewolves. Specifically, the level of violent rage directed at Hillary Clinton has reached that of Osama bin Laden in late 2001. Do not be surprised to see some of the bloggers below resort to self-immolation the next time Hillary Clinton says something on a radio show. MORE »

Given the Main Stream Media’s overt bias against Hillary Clinton, it’s very difficult to find a good, objective debate verdict the morning after. Fortunately we have bloggers like Andrew Sullivan to tell it like it is. While Sullivan writes dozens of posts a day, since forever, preaching against Hillary Clinton’s very Clintonian smear campaigns, diabolical nature and disgrace to the female gender and America, he actually apologized for his previous Iraq War support. Now that we can trust everything he says, let’s check out his liveblog of the debate last night to see, objectively, who won. MORE »

Obama’s win last night didn’t send just Chris Matthews into hyperbole about The Greatest Thing In Galactic History. Wait until you see the blogs! THE BLOGS! Also, this German guy called Obama the “Iowa snow king,” but that was as an insult. MORE »

Entire “war on terror” actually consists of a few dozen wingnut bloggers of the Christian & Mahometan persuasions threatening each other over the internets. [Blue Ridge Now]

The GSA (our government’s “Gay-Straight Alliance”) launched a “weblog” as part of fulfilling the president’s long-forgotten 2002 “eGov” initiative. Just like the State Department! It’s called “GovGab”, which is at least much harder to turn into a juvenile pun than “DippinDotGov” or whatever State called their stillborn attempt at Internets Relevance. It’s in the content, though, that GovGab becomes a more embarrassing horror show than State’s boring diplomacy site. Let’s meet the bloggers! MORE »

Michael Chertoff may be busy running the single most inept and frustrating department in an administration with some stiff fucking competition (and looking like Skeletor) but he still finds time to BLOG, helping his standings in the running for single worst douchebag still in the cabinet. What’s he blogging about? 9/11 of course! It seems that some people have FORGOTTEN about 9/11. Not Mike, obv, but 9/11 might be “fading” for some people (not naming any names!) (ok fine some names: Rosie O’Donnell and Michael Moore) (both of whom are so, so fat). Oh, also, it’s called his “Leadership Journal.” Such a douche. Here is a quote from his journal: MORE »

* “I mean, I can’t even walk from my office to the Market without being harassed. Men peeing in the alley, cursing at me, calling me names…” [Penn Quarter Living]
* Anti-anti-war protesters prepare to protest protesters. [Washington Times]
* “Being stuck in an elevator can do weird things to you. You imagine how long you might be there. You wonder whether you’ll have to crawl through the doors and onto a landing like Keanu Reeves did in Speed.” [Arjewtino]
* Metro is determined. [live from the third rail]
* “We want jobs with the State Department or global NGOs; we want to manage campaigns and shape the national dialogue/legislation in our own image; we want to be in the geeky blogging elite and rub elbows
with those DC celebs who are frequently quoted in the New York Times, but who Perez Hilton would never have heard of.” [By the Way]