campaign announcements
Jon Huntsman is in! For what? Who is he? Is he Tim Pawlenty 2.0 campaign reboot? No, he is the Chinese guy running for president. He’s not Chinese? He is Mormon. So he is Mitt Romney the Sequel? Huntsman formally declared his candidacy today in the liberal Mecca of New York City, because the socialist [...]
Surprise! “The show this weekend [part one of the finale] was taped back in November, and next week’s episode is also taped,” [NBC publicist Sharon] Pannozzo said. “So there will be no opportunity for him to do something like that.” Trump will announce LIVE ON HIS SHOW THIS WEEKEND that Sharron Angle will defeat Harry [...]
When Tim Pawlenty was a child, a bunch of mouth breathers forced him to will their obsolete manufacturing jobs back into existence. “Hey kid, those gay foreigner founding fathers may have created this country,” said the laborers, spitting tobacco in young T-Paw’s face. “But if you want Americans to embrace it, you’re going to have [...]
LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN! Tim Pawlenty is going to announce something, on Facebook, but it’s only for people who “like” him. (So, nobody.) Will people click on this man’s page for special “access” to this announcement, as no news organization will bother reporting it? You know what else was a special members-only club full of [...]
Everyone stop planning your Herman Cain inauguration ball! The 2012 Republican race for president has a second candidate! According to “confidants close to the former House speaker” (mistresses?), Newt Gingrich will announce his decision to form a presidential exploratory committee by the end of this week, which is approximately only a little more than a [...]
