canada
Things have not been going so well for America’s space program. We had a sad when we read about how the Obama Administration basically told Barack he could not have any exciting or inspirational “moon shot” programs, because everything had to go to Wall Street (heh heh). So not only did “moon shot”-style inspirational programs [...]
Oh hello! Now that you’ve witnessed me talking about other “people” for a day, it’s time for me to introduce myself. I’m Liz and I live in the curious town of Berkeley, California, among other things a retirement community for people who consider New York work and California reclining in the sun without a care [...]
Well, now we’ve learned who the mayor of Toronto is! One “Rob Ford,” a hated geezer conservative tyrant according to the all-knowing “brief Google Search” who flew into profanity-laced hysterics on the phone with 911 dispatchers after a teevee comedian lady from a Canadian political parody show turned up in his driveway with her cameraperson [...]
It’s pretty hot for September! Up in Vancouver, a kick-ass bunch of Canadian protesters rushed the doors of some private industrialists club/Satanic Secret Society and had a battle with the riot cops. A 51-year-old protester reportedly strangled a cop, in an apparent effort to get through the doors and strangle Dick Cheney — Cheney was [...]
Good news, you Yankee slobs! The era of Canadian moral superiority is over, R.I.P., amen, etc. Has it not been adorable, for years, when we up in the icy hinterland would lay claim to some sort of intrinsic goodness that everyone just believed because, whenever necessary, we could holler about health care and gay marriage [...]
Canadian prime minister Justin Bieber revealed to the Rolling Stone website that America sucks for all kinds of reasons, not the least of which is the nation’s barbaric “health care system” (The Greatest Health Care System In The World™). So when will Justin Bieber become an American Citizen?
A devious “cold air mass” from Canada floated across our unprotected border and then proceeded to drop giant snow-dumps all over our great nation yesterday, forcing most Americans to abandon their SUVs on the highway and hike to the nearest toll station, so that they could eat the tollbooth lady for nourishment. First “Bieber fever,” [...]
A trove of diplomatic cables, obtained by WikiLeaks and made available to a number of publications, disclose a perception by American diplomats that Canadians “always carry a chip on their shoulder” in part because of a feeling that their country “is condemned to always play ‘Robin’ to the U.S. ‘Batman.’ ” [...] It also noted [...]
A new study of the world’s rich countries says that America’s fatness levels will increase from the current 70% to more than 75% by the year 2020, but other nations are working hard to catch up — including our neighbors in Canada (6th fattest) and Mexico (2nd place). According to the Organization for Economic Cooperation [...]
This afternoon Canada had a socialist 5.0-magnitude earthquake all over its Eastern “provinces” of Ontario and Quebec. This being Canada, those brash, inconsiderate bastards, they couldn’t keep the thing to themselves — so for 30 seconds, Americans in states from Vermont to Michigan HAD TO DEAL with things shaking. Here’s yet another case of a [...]
America’s most mysterious animal-disease mad-scientist Military Laboratory, the secret fear factory known as Plum Island, is shutting down and moving to Kansas. Why would a highly secure (?) facility that studies livestock diseases on a remote isle move to the absolute center of the American livestock industry, where one loose spore of Manufactured Anthrax-AIDS-Cancer-Foot & [...]
A political party from Saskatchewan, the Canadian province just east of Mordor that’s known to nearby sprites and snow-furries as “hockey’s Arkansas,” recently planned a fundraising “pig roast” for which the guest of honor would be a fireman who nearly died on 9/11, in New York City.
