capitol visitor center
What caused the brief and pretty boring evacuation of the Capitol Visitor Center at 11:25 a.m.? Did the vanilla-chai teabags reach a Singularity? No it was a fire alarm everybody calm the fuck down. A mysterious staffer, “Em-bot,” sent us the entire drama, as represented in Capitol Police emails. It is exciting, if you are [...]
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU IGNORE ‘GOD’: A cynical operative e-mails us this terrible breaking news about the 621 Million Dollar Building: “The CVC was evacuated around 1:30. All the tunnels are closed off.. half a dozen fire trucks and police cars outside. We’re all going to die.” Hope not! (-ish). UPDATE: Eh, just [...]
Hey if any of you far-away losers want to visit Washington D.C. on “vacation” soon, to teach your brat kids about America, now’s the grandest time of all! Because thanks to your $621 million in appropriated taxpayer funds — yes that’s right, 6, 2, and 1, glued together, a million of them, in dollars — [...]
