chicago tribune
We are sad to see surrealist comedy news program “Rod Blagojevich Eternally On Trial For Being An Idiot” finally come to a close now that Rod has just been convicted on 17 of 20 counts of corruption. Has it really been eternity already? Seriously, we cannot remember anymore when we were not reading about this [...]
As part of his corruption trial, professional entertainer Rod Blagojevich has been appearing at Chicago’s Federal Courthouse Bar & Lounge all month to revisit some of his greatest recordings — including “I’ve Got This Thing, and It’s Fucking Golden,” his definitive hit. To capitalize on all the Blago-related excitement, the Chicago Tribune is posting the [...]
Alleged hooker-girlfriend-having/domestic abuser and admitted steroid eater and pawnbroker Scott Lee Cohen is planning to run for governor of Illinois, as an independent. It’s a job for which literally everyone in America is qualified. Cohen won the Democratic primary for lieutenant governor in February after the media had neglected to pay him any mind, because [...]
Who says nobody needs yesterday’s news and a bunch of old wire stories and couch ads thrown in your neighbor’s bird bath at 4:15 a.m. every day? The Chicago Tribune, one of our nation’s leading bankrupt newspapers, today offers this Roland “Pinocchio” Burris paper doll, so your poor kids can have something to play with [...]
ALL NEWSPAPERS FAILING: Tribune Co. went ahead and declared bankruptcy, which is surely good news for the battered half-dead Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune. The New York Times is scheduled to go bust later this week, probably. The prognosis for print newspapers has been pretty grim since the 1980s, but the specific financial collapse [...]
Wonkette fishwrapper operative “Alicia” writes to us about the unusual demand today in Washington for wads of cheap paper covered in ink: “The Washington Post sold out of its run this morning. They apparently are doing a second run because right now there is a line around the block to buy more editions of today’s [...]
