china
Espionage heroine Christine O’Donnell took a break from dabbling in witchcraft and eating meatballs and not masturbating to get some super secret classified data from China! And what has she learned from analyzing these documents from Beijing? The Heathen Chinaman is about to invade America!! It’s a terrible burden, to know what’s going to happen [...]
As China’s economy barrels along and Washington is helpless to do anything beyond passing toothless House legislation wishing China “would not be so rich and powerful,” perhaps no story better illustrates the rapid and shameful decline of our nation as the sad tale of four wealthy American ladies literally reduced to cleaning up the poop [...]
Home foreclosures are up 25 percent, which is probably why everyone is just getting so high. More than 2.3 million homes have been repossessed by lenders since the Greatest Recession began three years ago. And what has Obama done to help Real Americans keep their trailer-homes, since obviously he is to blame for everything bad [...]
Oh, Jimmy Carter is in North Korea right now? That’s funny, because Kim Jong-il is in China with his son. Yeah, hope you enjoy talking to a country full of Kim Jong-il’s servants, peanut man, because ol’ Jong face can’t make it in today. Too busy with his gay life partner China. JIMMY CARTER, YOU [...]
Charlie Rangel is going on trial! Did you even know that Congress could put people on trial, for ethics violations? Well, they can, but they don’t usually, because most Congressfolk generally just say “Yeah, you caught me” and slink away in shame when the Ethics Committee points out their many moral failings. Not Charlie Rangel, [...]
Remember Laura Bush, America’s onetime librarian sweetheart and wife to the nominal head of the most appalling administration in U.S. history? Turns out she’s written a massive memoir titled Spoken From the Heart (because that’s what these political memoirists do: write from the heart, by speaking from it). We figured that a Laura Bush memoir [...]
This morning you took a gasoline shower, ate a coal donut, and went off to work in your Hummer thinking your country was safely ranked #1 in the world. YOU THOUGHT WRONG. It turns out China is now tops when it comes to consuming the world’s energy, which is our most important job as Americans. [...]
Today the AP has a story about Greene (who, you will remember, is the South Carolina Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate and a practicing Daoist monk) with the BIG REVEAL that he was nicknamed “Turtle” in high school, according to his tennis coach, because yes, Alvin Greene was the only black kid on the high [...]
By the Comics Curmudgeon Birthdays are always a riot when you’re young, right? The cake … the presents … the party … it’s your day, and your parents are the ones who organize the whole thing. But as you grow older, your birthday becomes more melancholy, eventually representing both an occasion where you have to [...]
Oh, Elena Kagan confirmation hearings, you finished before you could even really get started! Where were your memorable moments, your lunatic grandstanding, your insights into softball strategy? All we have is some outraged testimony from some military guys saying that at Harvard Law Kagan made them “use the back door by the garbage” (i.e., by [...]
YOUR CHINESE DRYWALL IS MADE OF HONEY: “To avoid tariffs and anti-dumping laws, China mislabels honey as ‘sweetener’ and sells through other countries like India, according to Democratic New York Sen. Charles Schumer. ‘We call it honey laundering,’ says Schumer.” Really, Chuck Schumer? Do “we” really call it that? [Washington Whispers]
If you thought Afghanistan was only profitable for opium wholesalers and the defense industry, think again! According to some convenient new geological study of the mountainous, wild land that has broken the backs of so many empires, the whole place is chock full of precious metals — $1 trillion in reserves, maybe, including “huge veins [...]
Sarah Palin has inspired a generation of stay-at-home-mommies to strip their “mama bear” suits (their “fursonas,” if you will) and run for political office. [Matt Yglesias] Ayn Rand is so popular now, someone even made a straight-to-YouTube movie about her and who knows what’s next, maybe a Hulu minseries? [Hit & Run] Dear Young Person: [...]
