chris christie
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, the supposed-to-have-run of the Republican party, declared Newt Gingrich to be an “embarrassment” to the party during an appearance on NBC’s Meet the Press this past weekend, so as usual a Republican is embarrassed by America, since Newt, you know, won the South Carolina primary with many more votes than [...]
What a thoroughly entertaining news cycle we have been treated to lately! It has been all about two things that combined form one of the most powerful sedatives in history: Mitt Romney and tax returns. Mittens continues to not yet release his tax returns out of a tight-lipped genteel horror at everyone knowing exactly how [...]
In a quite unfunny Republican lavatory phenomenon, relatively speaking, the New Jersey Assembly’s Republican leader Alex DeCroce, 75, was found dead Monday night in a bathroom in the New Jersey Statehouse. Eerily, Monday was the last day of the State Legislature’s current session. The cause of death is unclear. DeCroce, who was an early supporter [...]
Apparently since dull turd Mitt Romney’s campaign message “Comrade Barack Obama is only here to steal yer munnies” comes across like he is just some anxious unlikable rich guy worrying over his fortune, hahaha which he is, Mittens’ sweaty-shiny new campaign trail attack frog Chris Christie will polish it up with something a little bit [...]
OMG you guys, Mitt Romney has a Flickr account. It is incredible. Here’s one of the very first pictures that “caught our eye,” oh lord. Mitt Romney, everyone! He has a Flickr, just like that Barack Obama did, back in 2008.
Republicans are a large bunch, if you get what we mean. When Teabaggers sit around the house, they literally sit around the 3,800-square-foot foreclosed tract house, in Florida. The latest advances in physics are repeatedly tested by the makers of Hoverounds and Rascals, as the wee scooters are expected to carry ever heavier loads. So [...]
Jonathan Alter singlehandedly launched fat goblin Chris Christie’s much-awaited fictional presidential bid today, on Twitter, discussed it with himself a while, un-launched it, and then clarified that he only wishes Chris Christie were running for president. Or at least that is what someone told us this says, because we still do not speak Twit. Remember [...]
Icon of personal responsibility Chris Christie paid a visit to the fiends at Fox News yesterday, and as this screenshot shows, he nearly caused the entire right-wing cable news channel to tilt left and vanish into the ether. But, sources say, the other side of the couch was secured with special ropes made from the [...]
Fat prick Chris Christie loves “mob humor,” which is why he suggested voters “take the bat” to 76-year-old New Jersey state Sen. Loretta Weinberg. Like so many previous N.J. governors, Christie apparently thinks the office is actually a supporting role on teevee’s The Sopranos, which actually ended its run several years ago. And that’s why [...]
“Wanta dah moolee-rah, Han Solo,” the Hutt said. Meanwhile, while you are transfixed by the thought of take a magic sex bus journey into those undulating folds, Chris Christie is telling lies so he too can screw the union workers of his state.
Michelle Obama will not be pleased until every fat person in America rises up against her, which is why her anti-obesity campaign, also known as “Let’s Move!” has now mobilized on Twitter. Although Twitter was once a joke website where friendless losers could share real-time updates about their sad lives, it is now mostly an [...]
Conservative activist James O’Keefe released a video titled ‘Teachers unions gone wild’ claiming to show undercover footage from a New Jersey Education Association leadership conference bashing Gov. Chris Christie and discussing how hard it is for a teacher to get fired. At a town-hall style talk in Monmouth Junction on Tuesday Christie said that he [...]
Because only half the country is still freaking out about the 9/11 Mosk, media outlets have decided to concoct a new and even more terrifying story — this time about Ronald Reagan, and how he has possessed some poor soul and now walks among us. Who is this new Ronald Reagan, and where should we [...]
