Wonkette

We have read this elitist New Yorker profile of your annoying loudmouth boyfriend Keith Olbermann and, like most profiles of MSNBC personalities, it confirms everything you learned about current MSNBC dynamics during the first five minutes of its Iowa caucus coverage. MORE »

Tonight we have the 750th and 751st primaries in the 2008 Democratic nominating contest, in Kentucky and Oregon. This means we’ll probably be watching MSNBC for a good portion of the night because (a) Chris Matthews is such a stitch and (b) Chuck Todd, he so dreamy! Hillary will likely be declared the winner of Kentucky as soon as polls close, we’ll get an earful of mindless chatter about Obama’s continuing problems courting Bitters, Chuck Todd and Rachel Maddow and Eugene Robinson will note that Obama’s likely victory in Oregon will neutralize Hillary’s Kentucky delegate pickups, Tim Russert will declare that we have just reached some historical turning point in Math, Matthews will pull down his pants, Nora O’Donnell will be shown from the front only because she is pregnant, Dan Abrams will appear at 1 a.m. with no tie on, the end. Most importantly, Pat Buchanan will spasm uncontrollably all night long — he’s been doing it more and more recently — over Obama’s fatal flaws. Why, exactly, has Pat been even more of a nut recently on the teevee? It’s simple enough: Barack Obama is threatening to undo his life’s work. MORE »

We have seen some “chatter” about the second-straight brilliant episode of Hardball today, and hot damn, this is some seven-diamond comedy here. Matthews is interviewing Republican radio host “Kevin James,” who screams in some white-trash voice about Obama being an appeaser for a couple minutes, before — around 4:00 into the clip — Matthews annihilates him, calls him “pathetic,” says “you don’t know anything,” and does this for several minutes. Nice work. Do it again tomorrow! [MSNBC]

Oh hey, it’s Barack Obama, speaking, on the TeeVee, from Indiana, about the results in Pennsylvania. Let’s liveblog this bitch, shall we? MORE »

Well, that happened just like pretty much everybody said it would happen, and Hillary’s once-proud 20% lead is down to a more “manageable” 9%, at the moment, for Mr. Hopeful Obama. As our Jim Newell and Liz Glover roam Hillary’s headquarters looking for either “victory sex” or at least free drinks — or, at the very least, a functional wireless signal from the lady who wants to run the world — let’s keep track of the blather on cable news and the Internets. More importantly, let’s keep drinking and leaving weird comments. MORE »

Hello, Pittsburgh! Rock onward, Harrisburg! Philadelphia Freedom, shine on me! And we’re living here in Allentown! Triumph over suburban male problems, Brewer! Did you know this was All For Nought? That’s what famous clown Chris Matthews says! So who cares, right? Still competitive, still too close to call, but that can’t last all night, right? MORE »

Last night John McCain appeared on Chris Matthews’ Hardball “College Tour,” live from Pennsylvania’s Villanova University. And who asks the second Student Question but Peter Doocy, and it is about doing shots of whiskey, and he’s the personification of Frat, and he’s the son of Fox & Friends co-anchor Steve Doocy — quite possibly the biggest (yet most harmless) douche on Fox News. They are the same person, except one of them has a national teevee show. The clip is below! MORE »

Chris Matthews’ beloved Hardball show had been visiting yet another demographic that has no interest in political shows on cable television: College kids! But it was a lot of fun for everyone, especially when Matthews’ wacky light-hearted question ended up being a total setup for Obama to call him a jackass. [Campaign Circus]

Hey remember how a couple years ago Rumors circulated regarding Chris Matthews’ supposed Senate run? Well, they are circulating again, this time courtesy of Nixon-loving GOP strategist and Arlen Specter pal Roger Stone. He says that Matthews has been “quietly sounding out Democrats across Pennsylvania” about running against Specter in 2010. However, Matthews is destined to lose because he is always running off at the mouth, plus he is insane, and nobody wants a spit-speckled maniac for a senator unless they are from Alaska. But that won’t stop Chris Matthews! MORE »