christmas
Republicans have finally said “aw fuck all” and agreed with Democrats to move tomorrow’s final health care vote from 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., so Jim Inhofe and Tom Coburn can go watch their grandkids sing about jeebus in Tulsa or whatever. They also have to vote on extending the debt limit — due to [...]
As the city tries to dig itself out from mountains of snow, and the DC Tweeter snowball people try to make sense of what that mean old officer did, what’s important is that everyone’s favorite holiday when Baby Jesus came into the world is just DAYS away. The city’s all frozen, Obama’s going to get health care [...]
Sticking around DC to see if health care reform passes/Lieberman makes it out alive? Well, if you’re one of the eight people not leaving town for the holidays, don’t despair. Even though basically no one will be here, there are fun things to do in Washington during December, we swear!
Saturday, December 12 through Sunday, December 13: Dance as if you just got rejected and are stuck to the floor because there’s beer all over it. That’s what the Jane Franklin Dance company will be doing in their show The Floor is Sticky, which combines poetry, spoken word and theater. Modern dance is fascinating.
So sad, this Christmastime. Last year, we could still sort of laugh. That fancy Barack Obama had won the presidency, after all. Maybe we would, uhh, weather the storm? Come back stronger?! Well, sorry about that. But it’s the Season of Xmas, and we’ve got a super special selection of cheap-ass unwanted “America-themed” old-pantyhose stuffers [...]
We haven’t even thrown away the rotting turkey carcass on the dining room table or swept up the broken glass or sent those people back home, whoever they are/were, and it seems like the War On Xmas has already begun! Why, some folks tell of the early skirmishes of ’09 beginning before Halloween, or Easter, [...]
It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs are going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople and their drunken wives and rent boys wreak havoc on the icy suburban streets. Congratulations to Charlene Lugar, wife of Republican Senator Dick Lugar, for winning the “First of the Season” [...]
We did not realize that Christmas time is in T-minus right now seconds! But it’s true: Last night your Wonkette saw the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree on a flatbed truck headed south on Amsterdam Avenue. How much more seasonal and magical would the tree have been decked out in kitschy, moose silhouette-covered misanthropy-inducing schlock? So [...]
If you’re like most Americans, this blessed holiday season the grown-ups in your family agreed to buy presents “just for the kids” while everyone else huddled beneath a single thin quilt like Charlie Bucket’s grandparents. As a result, newly released holiday sales figures were unbelievably sucky. Congratulations, consumers! Your failure to continue to borrow and [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, everybody, have you heard about the economies? Of course, your Wonkette staffers spend their days luxuriating in the well-appointed, mahogany-trimmed, Campbell Brown-subsidized Wonkette HQ, but we are given to understand that things in the outside world aren’t going so great, money-wise! In fact, this li’l economic downturn has even affected Christmas, [...]
“Members of a church in Kansas City, Ks., are protesting the secularization of Christmas by dressing like Jesus at their jobs, malls and restaurants.” (This is how they would dress regardless.) [Fox News, Blogslut]
Enjoying your material presents, America? Did you get any “cash presents,” such as a stack of U.S. dollars? Well look, save it. Don’t spend it. Don’t fucking spend it. What are you, stupid? We told you not to spend it. Are you fucking stupid? (Actually you really should spend it, to stimulate the economy.) [YouTube]
Yo bitches check out the details about this FIRESALE at McCain-Palin headquarters, according to a report from an anonymous operative in Virginia: “I just came back from the McCain-Palin regional headquarters in Arlington, VA. They are selling all of their office equipment – it was very depressing, but I did lay hands on a nice [...]
