Wonkette

At first this might look like the Formula One guy’s kinky Nazi S&M hooker orgy, but no, it’s just Christopher Hitchens getting waterboarded while terrible spin-class techno music plays in the background. We look forward to the tasering video next. [Vanity Fair]

Lynne Hamer, the acclaimed author of Name That Dog: Dogs of Presidents, Kings, Queens, Governors, and Celebrities sends us a hilarious top ten list (with two number fours and number ones) of PEOPLE WHO HAVE EGG ON THEIR FACE AND NOT IN THEIR BASKET. This is a reference to Easter, and to all the dumb losers who shilled for Barack Obama. So who’s on this magical loser list of eggfaces? MORE »

Mere months ago, Washington’s favorite drunken Englishman put himself through a comical health & beauty regiment, including myriad arduous stop-smoking schemes. His unrepentant conclusion: “I am more than ever sure that it’s enough to be born once, and to take one’s chances, and to grow old disgracefully.” And yet, today we hear the shocking news that Hitchens has indeed given up his greatest literary prop. No, not booze. The other one. MORE »

Remember Sidney Blumenthal? He was a bigshot print journalist back when that last mattered, in the early 1990s. And then the Clintons saved him from obsolescence by making Sid a very special part of the Bill/Hillary circle. They are loyal, as long as you never cross them in any way: Blumenthal is still working for the Clintons today. But he’s now facing “aggravated DWI” charges for allegedly driving so very drunk in New Hampshire last week. [The Smoking Gun]

AND YOUR POINT IS? Christopher Hitchens is upset about all the dumb white-guilt drooling over Barack Obama’s empty campaign. [Slate]

FIRST HE HATED JESUS, NOW HE HATES IOWA: Christopher Hitchens notes that the “Iowa Caucus” is not democracy at all, but some long-winded social event at which a few thousand Iowans are bribed with sandwiches. [Slate]

Libertarian super-chic magazine Reason held its “Secular Christmas” party in DC last night, and Team Wonkette was all over that shit. Among the many (one) super celebrity guests was Christopher Hitchens, whose alcohol tummy shone in full force as he led a sing along to a secular version of the already-secular “Deck the Halls” carol. Then he left before we could say hi, totally lame, screw that guy. But editor Nick Gillespie — who I think I’ve called a Paultard a few times — was kindly, and we thank him for the several bottles of Yellow Tail shiraz that we chugged. Anyway, masterful chronicler of the Human Condition Liz Gorman was on the scene to take some photos, so check them out if you want to live.

That’s ostensible born-again Christian Tom DeLay and ostentatious, drunken God-hater Christopher Hitchens making nice with each other at the Hill’s book fair last week! Some puckish individual thought it would be funny to sit them next to each other and watch them squabble about religion or something. Little did they know that Hitch’s hatred of all gods would dovetail nicely with DeLay’s hatred of the Muslim god and they’d have a high old time together while hawking their lame books. MORE »

From today’s WashingtonPost.com ….

It is the greatest mystery of Our Time: Why is Christopher Hitchens still admired by so many even after he was bamboozled by an utterly manufactured “Islamo-Fascist” nemesis that gave Dick Cheney’s paymasters an open-ended no-bid contract to invade and seize oil-producing lands unfriendly to Western energy needs? MORE »