cindy mccain
After a busy two weeks of Palin family covers and about six months of Obama family covers, the trashy supermarket magazines need something new, yet still kind of political, because maybe that’s what America is sort of half-interested in, for the moment. Let’s see, are there any other charming political families to put on the [...]
Palin had a tanning bed installed in the Alaska’s governor’s mansion. She could see Russia from that tanning bed. [Ezra Klein] Look into Barack Obama’s very soul with a theocrat/secularist ass thermometer that also appears to be a hypnosis device. [BeliefNet] Palin is trying to get some hockey moms to wear a button that features [...]
Every year duck hunters have to get a stamp showing they’re allowed to shoot these animals that Cindy McCain enjoys bothering so much, and the cards that the stamp goes on have a hilarious misprint! Instead of giving you the number to order more duck stamps, it gives you the number where you can have [...]
John McCain was a prisoner of war once, which automatically qualified him for every job ever invented, including haberdasher, whale scientist, and sex toy engineer. Let’s see how many people in this biographical film say, “That’s offensive!” when they are asked an actual question about John McCain.
Here’s the deal: we’re all voting for John McCain on November whateverth. Some hurricane somewhere is completely foiling this convention’s plans, and yet the show here is shockingly better managed, more efficient and less stressful than the Denver thing. Probably because no one else is here, at all. Heh. Here are some more pictures from [...]
Live from the Xcel Energy Center! Uh, Laura Bush! She spoke, softly, and a giant video Rick Perry appeared, telling the very sparse crowd that he was going to save the poor people who maybe got flooded. He was standing by an airplane!
OUR NATION’S WEATHER LADIES: Cindy McCain and Laura Bush will actually (maybe) speak today — beginning at 4:50 p.m., Central time — at the Republican convention! They will talk about, uh, Gustav. The hurricane. They will talk about a hurricane. This is the new GOP platform: Talking about a hurricane. [McClatchy]
The McCain people are pretty hopped up on steroids today and are issuing some tuff talk after this morning’s delightful housing kerfuffle. They’re putting the finishing touches on an ad about Obama’s “slum landlord” friend Tony Rezko, a topic they claim to have avoided before today, when Obama supposedly “opened the door” to this sort [...]
Thieving drug-addict beer heiress Cindy McCain can’t even keep her Third World Orphan Hunting stories straight! Both Cindy and the McCain campaign have repeatedly put out this story about Cindy traveling the world to laugh at poor people but then Mother Teresa said “Adopt these orphans you must,” and then Cindy adopted a couple of [...]
In 2004 all the Republicans hated the Democratic ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy (and just insane) woman. But now that it is 2008, all the Democrats hate the Republican ex-Navy plutocrat married to an insanely wealthy, insane woman. How awful is Fat Cat John McCain? So awful that he literally has no idea [...]
Kathleen Portalksi is no Cooter Obama, but she’ll do! This lady is 11 years older than her more famous half-sister, Cindy McCain. And when their father (Jim Hensley) died, he left just $10,000 to Kathleen and bequeathed his entire massive beer fortune to Cindy. That is pretty fucking harsh.
Wonkette Hand Operative “David” writes, “MSNBC just reported that Cindy McCain has been taken to the hospital for a hand-related issue. They went on to claim that she had a ‘pre-existing hand condition’ and that some Bitter had gripped her hand so hard during a campaign stop that she had to be taken for treatment.” [...]
