cnn
The pussies (meant lovingly) (ehh) who run CNN have suspended a member of the network’s “Best Political Team on Television,” Roland Martin, the jovial ascot-wearing fellow who appears on television to play with David Gergen and Ari Fleischer on election nights. Did he kidnap Wolf Blitzer’s wife or something? No, we’ve all done that. He [...]
Mitt Romney, most undeserving and unexcited winner of the Florida primary since at least 2004, was utterly bored out of his skull during his victory speech in Florida Tuesday, though he at least kept up the practice of being EVIL, my friend, and took the Evil Show to a post-results chat with CNN’s Soledad O’Brien. [...]
Searching for the final nail in the coffin of Rick Santorum’s political career, there appears to be a solid contender in a CNN interview Piers Morgan conducted with the Republican candidate ahead of the South Carolina primary. The liberal network OBVS wanted to get at Santorum’s extremely conservative views, but the response Santorum gave on [...]
In Thursday’s debate in South Carolina, the one where Gingrich soared, Romney stuttered, Paul sniggered and Santorum … was also there … moderator John King prodded the gentlemen with questions on tax returns, a segment that greatly overshadowed any attempt to remind people that Gingrich isn’t good at monogamy. King’s express interest was in trying [...]
CNN decided Wednesday to let Rick Perry into its upcoming Republican debate in South Carolina January 19, despite the fact that he technically doesn’t qualify for it, since his polling average is not that much higher than the average of people who aren’t even in the race anymore. “Oh but he’s fun!,” they cry, and [...]
Remember how Ron Paul has been shuffling around complaining, for decades, about the newz media always ignoring his presidential campaigns to death? Those were the days! Now he is complaining that they are MOBBING his campaign, also to death, because of an actual mob of journalists who chased after him into a New Hampshire diner [...]
Regretful teen-aged witch Christine O’Donnell has endorsed bland gazillionaire flip-flopper Mitt Romney — or, to the Newt Gingrich campaign, Mitt Romney the cultist. Why endorse Mitt? According to O’Donnell’s appearance on CNN this morning, it’s because “He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” Uhh.
We missed this part of CNN’s debate foreplay in Las Vegas last night while we were down in Zuccotti Park, but here is a fun video of CNN’s protester-mocking anchor Erin “Seriously” Burnett making tortured faces and struggling to concentrate as a band of heroic Occupy Las Vegas protesters cripple the audio feed with their [...]
Woah, NASA, you got SCOOPED BIG TIME. [Twitter via Tech Crunch]
HAR HAR the whiny hippie 4-year-olds and their marijuana drugs and their stupid drum circles protesting nothing down on Wall Street, that’s a funny! Such wit! Since there is no “opinions are my own” disclaimer on the Twitter feed of CNN business reporter Alison Kosik, we will assume this is the actual official “investigative journalism” [...]
Bloated GOP gambling addict William Bennett makes his millions in many ways, such as his storied tenure on the board of some sketchy “online charter school” that siphons taxpayer money from real public schools. (It was started by Goldman Sachs executives and convicted felon Michael Milken, of course. Bennett “resigned” from the K12 board after [...]
CNN’s spambots have been trolling our inbox since approximately forever with their creepy propaganda for this ludicrously billed “First Ever Tea Party Republican Debate” war film starring rusty news studio camera tripod Wolf Blitzer, an event which is neither the first “Tea Party debate” nor even the first Republican debate in the last week. We [...]
Tune in tonight as we liveblog, against our will, CNN’s very own amateur porn hour GOP debate edition of Wolf Blitzer trying to cop a feel off deranged hair monster Rick Perry! 8PM ET! Herman Cain will also sex 9/11, Michele Bachmann will sex the corpse of her own campaign, Rick Santorum will sex himself, Mitt [...]
Tasing Violence At Occupy DC Gets CNN’s Erick Erickson Hot And Bothered
by Kaia Mursi
Pepper spray is OVER, folks. Hope you enjoyed all the funny stuff the unemployed section of Internet users put together about the cop from Angry Birds spraying everything, ’cause in 2012, vicious crack downs on Occupy protesters are going to be all about tasering: hard, cold, fast, and indiscriminate. Which means….exciting new opportunities are opening [...]