cnn
Anderson Cooper is keeping his job at CNN, at least until Larry King shows up at his studios with a gun and Cooper decides it’s no longer worth it to interview terror-baby activists and hilarious homophobe assistant attorneys general. But he is also getting a daytime talk show, because why not? You know how Anderson [...]
CNN is doing a documentary on the three or four people who are young American conservative activists, so they decided they would follow around that criminal James O’Keefe, the guy who made those ACORN videos and tried to rape Mary Landrieu’s phones. But you know the one thing they weren’t expecting? They weren’t expecting James [...]
Have you seen the New CNN? It’s probably way better than the old CNN, especially if this “CNN Justice” headline is any indication. Why did the Time Demons do something to a child, in America? [CNN]
Last-place cable news network CNN (which literally means “Cable News Network”) has a new boss, Ken Jautz from sleazeball-idiocracy sister station Headline News, which hasn’t broadcast any news beyond celebrity abortions, videos of animals farting and redneck baby-cannibalism trials since, we imagine, the first Gulf War. Jonathan Klein, the genius executive behind such hits as [...]
CNN sets it up: “Anthony Fossaceca, a blogger for OhioDaily.com, lambasted Kasich’s closing statement in Tuesday’s Ohio Governor debate as ‘the lamest, most cliche closing in debate history.’” And this blogger said it seemed like John Kasich made an anecdote about a Bob Evans conversation up. But CNN came to the rescue with their huge [...]
CNN has big news! A “Democratic source” has told the jejune news network that the Democratic Party will roll out “a major announcement Wednesday about the future of the party,” delivered in a speech by Tim Kaine at George Washington University. The speech is said to “excite Democrats across the country,” so be sure to [...]
Thank you to Wonkette operative “Shannon” for this CNN Headline Breaking News.
This thing is debuting October 4 and will be called Parker Spitzer, which is what all good trailer-park Americans are naming their children these days, because they saw some celebrity name their child that. Will we get to witness these amazing Spitzer sports comedy stylings we see a glimpse of at the :45 mark EVERY [...]
Ha ha, so a couple of your Wonkette contributors were jabbering all day about doing liveblogging, and your editor said okay great but don’t kill yourselves because these “couple of primary/runoff things somewhere” do not exactly leave the nation or even the Wonkette Readership spellbound. And then of course nobody showed up to liveblog at [...]
CNN doesn’t really know how to come up with an original perspective on an issue, so they like to poll the general public about things in which they have no expertise. And now it turns out that Americans are nearly evenly split on whether the Constitution protects gay marriage and whether the U.S. should pass [...]
Your Wonkette sold her teevee to buy new Blingee features and also send $$ to SarahPAC, so she can’t watch the motion-picture news anymore on an actual TrueTube. But a helpful tipster sent this picture of their own teevee broadcasting a CNN news reel, with very interesting information in the “DEVELOPING STORY” box: Apparently, Manhattan’s [...]
