Corruption
ALL IS FORGIVEN, PEGGY: OK so last week she forgot that George Bush was President during the 9/11 attacks, but this week holy crap! Here’s what Peggy Noonan calls Rod Blagojevich in a column titled “Rectitude Chic”: “a lipless, dull-featured, wig-wearing moron with a foul-mouthed harridan of a wife.” HA HA HA HA HA we [...]
Well FINALLY we have a state we can make fun of here on the Wonkette because none of its fourteen (14) residents have time to read this dumb Web site — they’re all still busy staying employed, at actual jobs! (The recession, which loses velocity as it cools, has not yet crept into the snowy [...]
UNCLE TED TO DELIVER HEARTBREAKING SWAN SONG: Ooooh this will be good! We hear that Ted Stevens will be giving his valedictory address to the Senate at 11am Eastern, so we will be liveblogging that. Get yourself a carton of caribou jerkey and we’ll see you back here in an hour. [Washington Post]
Ted Stevens didn’t have a chance at winning his Senate race — not after reports surfaced that the RNC had paid $150,000 for his elaborate pine-tar facials and wardrobe of decaying burlap sacks. Thanks to commenter “belmonttau” for the screenshot.
A ballsy Wonkette hero operative sends us a fantastic photo with this description: “I got convicted Senator Ted Stevens to sign this ‘I am VECO’ hat with a silver sharpie on election night 2008.” No, it’s not just funny because she fooled Stevens into believing that she was a supporter. Veco, for you hippie anti-corporates, [...]
The jury deliberating over Ted Stevens’ corruption trial consisted exclusively of angry cat ladies and addled kooks, one of whom was so disruptive she almost caused a mistrial. But then there was this OTHER juror, Juror No. 4, who ALSO messed things up by disappearing, mysteriously, to “go to her father’s funeral in California” over [...]
Sarah Palin took a HARD LINE against domestic terrorist Ted Stevens this afternoon after a wishy-washy first response, saying he “needs to step aside.” Take that, crook. Sarah Palin is playing a good hand here: get this douche out of the way tonight, appoint herself to fill out the remainder of his term in the [...]
John McCain does not believe Earmark Welfare Queen Ted Stevens should be running for Senate re-election anymore, now that he has been convicted by a jury of being a terrible fraud. Yesterday Stevens was found guilty of making false statements regarding the free sex dungeon a contractor built for him and his wife in Nowheresville, [...]
The jurors in the corruption trial for corrupt Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens are now in their second day of deliberations, and they’re having trouble! It seems one among them is running around the jury room shouting schizoid psychobabble at the others, which is just not productive at all, and so the other jurors have tattled [...]
Seven months and fifteen billion news cycles after everyone forgot about that New York Times article about John McCain’s torrid sex affair with the gal who looked like his wife, only younger, that alleged gal has now surfaced to deny she ever had sex with John McCain. Whaaaa?
