cpac
Oh, other people shouted stuff at Dick Cheney yesterday at CPAC. Don’t think you’re safe from a little underground bunker torture, Paultards. He’s still alive, you know.
Above, your editor tries his hand at using a real revolutionary-era copper dicking pot this kindly Teabagger was carrying around his belt. Unfortunately, this man was the only one who got the memo about it being Halloween, but in case our government finally turns back the clock to whenever this (albeit probably incorrect and anachronistic) [...]
Hey, look who we ran into in the hallway! It’s that guy who killed all the people. A pleasant fellow to say the least. But why won’t he answer our questions about his health and, more specifically, the classic Sega Genesis video game Sonic the Hedgehog? What is he trying to hide? Video inside.
Hey look, there’s Sharron Angle! She refused to answer our questions about the future of makeup and what it means for the War in Afghanistan. Aww! Anyway, we just got here, but we’ve found plenty of weirdos and such for your enjoyment.
The three-legged stool of conservatism is strong and united at CPAC! Yes, as intelligent and alive as a small piece of furniture. However, the stool may not last long, as the hotel they chose, the Marriott Wardham Park, seems to currently be infested with bedbugs. Yes, we knew that, but are there blood-sucking insects there [...]
We just started watching. Keep refreshing this! “If the president wanted to be like Ronald Reagan, he would sign a balanced budget amendment!” “We are the Saudi Arabia of energy!” “A three-legged stool… won’t fall over easily.” (Conservatives are a three-legged stool.) “I believe in this three-legged stool.” “We need to win the Triple Crown [...]
The Conservative Political Action Conference 2011 begins today, and ends when we all have herpes! For the next three days, dozens of presidential hopefuls will compete in oratory fellatio, to prove to America that they love Ronald Reagan the most. Even Donald Trump is scheduled to give a special speech/PowerPoint presentation about his hairpiece. But [...]
Your Wonkette is going to be at CPAC starting tomorrow to bring you all the fun and excitement of conservative furry sex parties and people yelling at Arab Americans. But here’s a little preview of what’s to come: Ron Paul is trying really hard to win this year’s presidential straw poll, which is always especially [...]
A devious “cold air mass” from Canada floated across our unprotected border and then proceeded to drop giant snow-dumps all over our great nation yesterday, forcing most Americans to abandon their SUVs on the highway and hike to the nearest toll station, so that they could eat the tollbooth lady for nourishment. First “Bieber fever,” [...]
Popular wingnut conference “CPAC” has been the coming out party for many exciting wingnut media careerists such as Sarah Palin/Team Family Sarah Inc. But is the conference now too popular with “show people”? Apparently so: Several fringe-right family values groups are defecting from the gala Washington social event because gays have been invited, in the [...]
Wonkette CPAC tipster GARRETT3000 sends us our “last CPAC photo,” for the 22,000th time, this one capturing allegedly “neutral” blog reporter Dave Weigel, who writes about crazy people for the Washington Independent. Turns out he is one of the crazy people, because here he is clearly 100% endorsing the racist John Birch Society, with a [...]
Everyone remembers exactly where they were, what they were doing and which socks they were wearing (on their hands) when Michelle Malkin sold her blog “Hot Air” to some other person or group, a while ago. But now the Hot Air blog is suddenly in love with homosexuals, and wingnuts are furious!
