Wonkette

Ha ha sillies no this billboard isn’t making yet another reference to balls. It comes to you via a religious type in Indiana who’s lodging a bipartisan appeal to crazies on both sides of the aisle, as in, “All the cool kids in Washington are getting down with nutty preachers.” This is true, unless you’re Ron Paul, who gets down with his rocket instead. [copyranter]

Alaska’s corrupt congressman-for-life Don Young is well known for his insane outbursts and being investigated by the Feds for being a bribe-taking crook, but did you know his wife is notorious for torturing her husband’s interns with weird foods? MORE »

Our girlfriend Peggy Noonan has been more enjoyable than usual this year, as a tragically drawn-out Democratic primary battle provided her with endless opportunities to touch herself while Barack Obama spoke pretty things, and to then guiltily wash her hands and realize that Obama was, in fact, the Democrat and not Ronald Reagan and, indeed, kind of “multicultural,” if you get our drift. But all that tortured eloquence has vanished from Peggy’s column, because the oxycontin/vodka cocktail hit hard as soon as she finished typing the relatively sane setup of today’s “Declarations.” MORE »

Discuss.

Oh, you people. We did a nice post about the Bilderberg Group having its big annual elitist meeting in the D.C. Metro Area, starting today, and what do we get for it? A lot of angry paultard-esque emails calling us dumb and elite and not elite and not intellectual and, probably, sheeple. Let’s review the evidence and enjoy the Email of the Day, after the jump. MORE »

Hey remember that insane Catholic preacher who was all, “Hillary Clinton cried in New Hampshire because she was white”? Well, now he has apologized. And, true to the Modern Religious Figure’s Apology Template, he apologized “if anybody was offended,” rather than for shouting a bunch of shouty garbage in a church. Barack Obama has performed another summary round of rejection and denunciation, and let us never speak of this again. [CNN]

Way back in the early 1990s, America learned the hard way that strange e-mails from people with AOL e-mail addresses like “krazi hott lucey” are not “hott” even if they are “krazi.” In other words, Hillary’s special group of educationally challenged “white women” are going to launch a War of Horror against this country, America, that will make Ron Paul’s Revolution look like LOVE spelled backwards. Read the curiously misspelled warning, after the jump.

From: Krazihottkelli@aolcom

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

If hillary getz screwed over by obama,

white voterz and uz Florida voterz will

make sure we put MCCAINZ WAR MONGER AZZ IN

Charley Crist, My Florida govenor moved up

our primay so he could be john mccainz

vice prezident…my votez not going to

count..thiz iz my very first vote in my

WHOLE EFFEN LIFE ..AND ITZ FOR HILLARY

AND HE STOLE IT..AND I’M PIZZED…SO IF

HILLARY DOEZN’T GET IN…THERE ARE GOING

TO BE A BUNCH OF PIZZED OFF WHITE WOMAN

THAT WILL BE REALLY TO KILL OR FIGHT

SOMEONE..MAYBE EVEN A WHOLE EFFEN COUNTRY.

ZZZZ I WANT MY EFFEN VOTE/I WANT MY HILLARY…NOW..SHE HAZ THE MOZT
VOTEZ..AND

THE ”’BATTLEGROUND KEY STATES ”’ THAT

BEATZ MCCAINZ 666 YRZ. OF WAR..

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

You should really check out this column that’s been floating around since last week, if you have not yet done so: “A full-blooded American.” Random columnist Kathleen Parker quotes a 24-year-old West Virginian who said he will vote for John McCain over Barack Obama because he would be more comfortable with “someone who is a full-blooded American as president.” Kathleen Parker, um, agrees, noting that “it’s about blood equity, heritage and commitment to hard-won American values. And roots,” that makes certain candidates “get” America. This Kathleen Parker is actually married to Lord Voldemort. [Jewish World Review via Matt Yglesias]

Peggy Noonan sees the world through a special pair of eyes — eyes that were pried out of Ronald Reagan’s head just moments after he tragically passed away in 1989. How do we know this? Because a women’s website asked Peg about shoes. MORE »

From: Will Duke
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date: Tue, Apr 29, 2008 at 10:13 AM