dancing with the stars
It turns out Piper has one other hobby besides calling into morning drive-time radio shows: ballet. After this is revealed at about the three-minute mark, Steve Doocy predicts Piper will tell Bristol to “SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT, SHAKE IT.” “I know how little kids talk,” he explains. Yes, tell that to Piper when she is [...]
Palin warblogger Adrienne Ross is an actual BLACK PERSON who runs MotivationTruth, which is of course a perfectly descriptive name for a blog about Sarah Palin. Ross was awarded an interview with Bristol Palin, and the lack of self-awareness by the two of them in this piece is rather entertaining. This girl dances on a [...]
Like most Americans, you have been on tenterhooks since hearing that Bristol would be Dancing Modestly With The Stars, wondering what exactly her stars-dancing-with outfit would look like. Would she be sporting a comfortable and fashionable prairie dress, inspired by fashion icon Chloe Sevigny’s Big Love role? Would she adopt the styles of Orthodox Jewish [...]
Oh, look, there is Bristol Palin in her square-dancin’ costume. Team Sarah is so happy for her! “Methinks she’s brushing up on her dancing skills in preparation for an Inaugural Ball,” says “Sharron,” who is some sort of medieval witch. Meanwhile, Mercede Johnston FINALLY addresses this major Dancing with the Stars thing, and it’s basically [...]
Sure, that Vanity Fair piece out today was sort of poorly sourced (although still fun!), but isn’t that allegation that Sarah Palin maybe doesn’t do her own tweets kinda damning? So how does “Sarah” address this? “Media goofballs.” “Cake ink.” The end.
Bristol Palin is of course planning on showing off her lithe young body for the entertainment of millions of Americans on the hit new TV show Rubbing Yourself Up Against A Total Stranger With The Stars. This seems like it might actually contradict her stated life goal of convincing young girls to refrain from screwing [...]
Alaska’s First Family, the Palin-Johnstons, are at it again today with the expected news that Bristol Palin will perform on a reality teevee show. Were you hoping for Jersey Shore IV: Wasilla Dumpster Behind the Tattoo Parlor? Patience. For now, it’s Dancing With the Stars, ABC’s inexplicable hit from the 1990s about D-list media losers [...]
Stately, plump Tom DeLay unceremoniously took a sabbatical from Dance, Star, Dance! back when he hurt… his… clavicle (?). Anyway, for the season finale of the teevee show DeLay and the one they call “Cheryl” danced some more because of all the demand that they do exactly that. What will Tom DeLay do for attention [...]
Histrionic criminal Tom DeLay is not quite ready to leave you and your television alone already! Since the FCC criminalized his hip gyrations on Dance, Star, Dance, he will now join Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. He will play an “Expert”—for serious—to whom contestants will get to pose questions during their “lifelines.” At least [...]
When the producers told Tom DeLay not to dance, Tom DeLay danced. When the Cheryl person was like, “Seriously… just. You know what, it’s really okay?” Tom DeLay danced on. When the doctors reminded DeLay of his equal parts vague and debilitating foot injury, Tom DeLay chose samba, not fear. But the ambiguity of the [...]
Do you know how many candy canes were killed in order to make Tom DeLay’s dance outfit he wore on the dancing show the other night? This is a rough estimate, but… ~all of them. Anyway, bitchin’ rhinestone elephant decal on the back! It really catches the light, especially when Tom DeLay throws his arms [...]
Yes yes yes yes. Tom DeLay’s second appearance on the the dancey weight-loss pyramid scheme show was last night! How big of a success was it, using DANCE as a metric? Let’s just say “mazurka”! It is crucial that you watch this video immediately, as towards the end, Tom DeLay nearly drops the Cheryl lady [...]
How many times did you vote for Tom DeLay last night? Did you hit your quota of eight?? He will continue to do pelvic thrusts in thigh-hugging formica (?) bellbottoms until you do. Or until they rip, whichever comes first. … You should probably vote quickly. Anyway, the Troggs! Boss choice, dude. And YES, you, [...]
Something is very wrong with this Tom DeLay appearance on Dancing With The Stars, beyond the surreal fact that it’s even happening, in real life. Some folks have sent us an e-mail to the “Dancing With Delay” mailing list from DeLay’s daughter, Dani DeLay Ferro, who, like her father, does not exactly have a saint’s [...]
