death penalty
Oh, Florida. Florida Florida Florida. Crackhead ideas just grow on trees as bountifully as the citrus in Florida, don’t they? But this one is an especially cloudy, yellowed gem with a particularly elegant “Republican-trucker diner-firing squad execution” trifecta of tragicomedy that will be our new standard in redneck crazy: once upon a few days ago, [...]
The Napoleonic legal theory of “guilty until proven innocent, suckers” won a major victory for racism in the United States legal system last night with the execution of Troy Davis, a black man from Georgia convicted of the murder of a white police officer 22 years ago and sentenced to death under deeply dubious circumstances [...]
Texas pays a cushy full-time salary to a sociopathic weirdo who wears a shellacked feather boa toupee around on his head all the time to make sure Texas executes as many of its citizens as possible, and normally this guy, Rick Perry, he is the best state murder party planner in the country. NOT TODAY! [...]
It is not news that Future Sheriff-in-Chief Rick Perry enjoys murdering Mexicans, for sport. That is why Michele Bachmann is probably having a shame-based pill binge, right this very minute, while watching her already-questionable relevance get flushed further and further down the State Fair Porta-Johns. But Rick Perry knows that in order to win 2012, [...]
Look, there’s a limit to exactly how illegal you can make abortion, and conservative legislators are always trying to one-up each other by proposing new ways to make it illegal-er. It takes a stroke of luck to come across a great idea like giving women the death penalty for having an abortion for any reason. [...]
“Well, I would say — you know, as a physician I am going to get in a lot of trouble for this — but her prognosis for survival is 100 percent, as far as it being short term,” Dr. Peter Rhee told Britain’s Channel 4 News. “I mean, hopefully she’ll live to be 95 years [...]
The total number of people executed by states and the federal government fell by 12 percent this year, according to a new study on America’s lack of balls. It’s now at the lowest level since 1976, when the Supreme Court decided it was legal once again for governments to do their favorite thing: Killing their [...]
Isn’t it great to have our previous president back in the news these days? How about this one: He lifted passages of his book out of other people’s books and news articles? Yes, he did! Or rather, whoever was putting together his book did. Hey, c’mon, why would Bush want to remember stuff himself? It’s [...]
The entire state of Utah is absolutely giddy today as early this morning it got to kill a death row guy by firing squad. Ronnie Lee Gardner was officially declared dead at 12:17 a.m., after what observers claim was an awesome midnight laser light show with everyone’s favorite Jock Jams songs and the funny part [...]
Hey, you know who knows a lot about oil, and evil, and death? Russian President Dmitry Medvedev! He mused to the WSJ about the future of BP, and said that, what with all the money they’ll be spending, “Whether the company can digest those expenditures, whether they will lead to the annihilation of the company [...]
It’s becoming clear now that handsy Texas ball-of-fire Rick Perry, in notably indiscreet fashion, has been trying to cover-up or kill an investigation into the execution of an innocent man, which would show that… well… he and his staff could have maybe prevented this from happening! This is a major scandal, for serious. BUT LET [...]
Man, you know what costs gazillions of dollars of taxpayer money? Executin’ people! With appeals and increased housing costs, the tab to house a prisoner and eventually carry out the death penalty can run upwards of $3 million. Conversely, just keeping somebody in jail forever costs a mere $1.1 million or so.
