debates
No not another one! Yes, another one! We will do some liveblogging on this, maybe? To give Kirsten Boyd Johnson a break so she can “do something at night” (cry), maybe? Yes! We do hope you’ve picked up the usual giant-sized condoms full of vodka and ice axes, and that you’re ready to join us [...]
Dr. Ron Paul’s portion of the Internet is goin’ nutz over the rumored grab-ass Rick Perry was trying to strong-arm Doctor Congressman Paul with, during the Reagan Gravesite Debate. Why is Rick Perry such a violent psychopath? Does he just hate freedom so much that he went over and tried to beat up a whiny [...]
Hello fiends! Your editor is back tonight to do some hot Reagan Death Zombie liveblogging, and your other editor will be here later to take over, and if there was EVER a week to come back to Wonkette and “mind the gap” or whatever, this is a very bad one indeed. TONIGHT: Eight sociopaths suffering [...]
Here is your “GOP debate blingee” which, you know, hang in there. Your furriner editor is new at the blingee thing. SO HERE WE GO. Tonight’s debate is in New Hampshire, where Michele Bachmann last changed American history. Why was Sarah Palin trying to copy her so hard? Where is Sarah Palin, to wear the [...]
Before we turned off the teevee after that terrible debate last night, the Republican Party’s appointed Divider, Frank Luntz, was doing what he always does, standing in front of the whitest people he could find in a few hours, asking them questions to find out how best to make people like this think their political [...]
Tonight, American history is made: it is the first time there in American history that there is no chance American history will be made. THE REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ARE DEBATING. Well, five of them are. And not even any of the “good” ones, who, if you’re keeping score at home, are mediocre at best. And [...]
We will be liveblogging tonight’s Republican presidential debate which airs at 9 pm ET on the world’s only television channel, Fox News. It will be the DEBATE OF THE CENTURY, if suddenly everyone else on the planet dies and lame people like Tim Pawlenty are the only human beings to exist for the rest of [...]
Fox Business Channel host and former Barbara Walters page boy John Stossel likes Ron Paul, so why not throw the show over to him for a little propaganda? That’s what Fox does best; may as well keep to the formula. Just insert a squirrel-voiced “Obama impersonator” and voila, you’ve got yourself a real live straw [...]
By this point, the Republicans who are going to run for president all have to know they’re doing it, right? It’s not like any of these people have to “talk it over with their family”; nobody’s going to let expendable things like a spouse or children get in the way of their rightful place on [...]
Oh, the Democrat in the U.S. Senate Christine O’Donnell would work well with would be Hillary Clinton! That’s very interesting. You see, Christine O’Donnell somehow knows she will be allowed on the Committee on Foreign Relations. This would certainly be a smart move by the Republican leadership, putting all their insular Teabagging troglodytes on that [...]
At her debate, Christine O’Donnell couldn’t come up with the name of a recent Supreme Court decision with which she disagreed, so why not ask this question of the dumb Republican candidate in your race, everyone? That’s what Congressman John Adler did against his opponent, former Philadelphia Eagles tackle Jon Runyan. Hey, at least this [...]
Did Tolkien ever depict a Senate debate in any of those Lord of the Rings books? Probably not, right? Because every character is too busy being Catholic and feminist? Yeah. So there is literally nothing to guide Christine O’Donnell in her big debate tonight. That’s okay, because she’s you, and you generally spend this time [...]
This should be entertaining: Christine O’Donnell is debating her opponent Chris Coons tonight on national teevee. Why does Chris Coons see the need to debate her? He doesn’t. He just knows that his poll numbers get better every time she opens her mouth. Speaking of her opening her mouth, will Christine O’Donnell be asked questions [...]
The great thing about this country is its diverse character. Some states have their Senate candidates debate at podiums. Others have them debate at urinals.
