• February 13, 2012

denver

Here he is, the Big Guy, the “bruiser,” Joe Biden, in his 20th HBO Special, “Ize Gonna Be Viceys.” HA HA HA, that is what he named it, we imagine. He’s always makin’ the jokes, like “what’s up with these black Indians running all the articulate 7-elevens?” He doesn’t even need a punchline, THE SETUP [...]

On our 17-mile march from downtown Denver to “The Perimeter,” which is a police blockade at least another 17 miles from the actual Pepsi Center, we ran into these friends. Thousands of riot cops, thousands of hippies, thousands of blocked crossways and pedestrian routes to The Perimeter. They are protesting Barack Obama’s War in Iraq, [...]

It’s the night we’ve all been waiting for: The night Bill Clinton will finally get out of the way and let the nominee go ahead and run for president. Bill has his legacy to worry about, because, you know, he squandered it with some of the most boorish, cheap behavior in political history — and [...]

Your editors are ready to kick back with Obama and whatever white family he visits tonight, as we all enjoy Bill Frickin’ Clinton! Liveblogging and live reporting from the Democratic National Convention in beautiful downtown Denver, coming soon! (Thanks to Wonkette Operative Michael Gambale for the screenshot.)

It’s Dennis “The Menace” Kucinich thrilling the crowd on Tuesday! He kicked ass and took names! Wild applause! But the insurance companies and oil monsters still run the world — sorry, Denny! Oh look we have some more pictures ….

Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews, of MSNBC, do not like each other or each other’s families, at all. And so here was this thing, yesterday, where Matthews snapped at Olbermann on teevee when they should have been asking important Rep. Steny Hoyer what he thinks about some arbitrary Clinton bullshit. They are working at a [...]

Your editors meet the delightful MSNBC mascots in downtown Denver.

Oh, this is perfect. After spending all week straining to convince voters that he is a humble, all-American God-fearing Christian regular Joe, Barack Obama will deliver his acceptance speech tomorrow night from a structure that ABC News says “resembles an ancient Greek temple.” Because nothing hits the trifecta of Hollywood, presumption, and alternate religion like [...]

Of course not, because the Pepsi Center is an enclosed sports arena! But she did give a speech, and she seems to endorse that young fellow from Communist Egypt. We did liveblogging from the DNC — here’s Part I and Part II — and now brave Jim and Sara will spend nine hours trying to [...]

Hillary Clinton is the most orange woman alive tonight. “Orange” is the color of Unity, and Barack Obama. Are the PUMAs buying it? No, because they’re sociopaths. But maybe enough people are. It’s all about getting your 51%, and Hillary could offer like 2%, right now! 3%!

It’s Hillary’s Big Night, and everybody’s wondering what she’ll tell her aggrieved and anxious supporters who felt Disrespected by the Process. We are kind of hoping that Hillary will dispense with that in the first 20 seconds and then administer the indescribably cruel new tearing of assholes to John McCain that all the old Clintonites [...]

You may have seen Rudy Giuliani, a stupid fucking idiot, all over the teevee during the Democratic National Convention. Today he visited a TERRORISM EXHIBIT in Denver, one which he probably created in the last year just so he could tour it during the Democratic National Convention. He said that we must Never Regret, or [...]

CONVENTION PARTIES ARE TERRIBLE: Bill Maher doesn’t want people getting up while he does his comedy act, so people weren’t allowed to go outside for a cigarette at Rolling Stone‘s condom party. [The Field]

WHOA DENNIS KUCINICH MAKES EVERYONE CRAZY! You realize that all the speeches are stale bullshit and it’s just a lot of background noise while Chris Matthews talks about his memories. But Dennis Kucinich just killed in here, with a screaming “WAKE UP AMERICA” rant/chant that was quick and nutty. Maybe true, too! [The Swamp]

While Ken and Sara have taken the “good passes” to the Pepsi Center, your humble associate editor has a mere “perimeter pass,” which gives access to the parking lot. But look what we’ve found in one of the plastic “media pavilions”: the Captain Morgan’s “Captain For President” lounge, with comfy black chairs and free Tanqueray. [...]