dnc denver
Hillary Clinton is the most orange woman alive tonight. “Orange” is the color of Unity, and Barack Obama. Are the PUMAs buying it? No, because they’re sociopaths. But maybe enough people are. It’s all about getting your 51%, and Hillary could offer like 2%, right now! 3%!
It’s Hillary’s Big Night, and everybody’s wondering what she’ll tell her aggrieved and anxious supporters who felt Disrespected by the Process. We are kind of hoping that Hillary will dispense with that in the first 20 seconds and then administer the indescribably cruel new tearing of assholes to John McCain that all the old Clintonites [...]
Mark Warner is a stud, especially from the Upper Deck of a Denver arena! What was he talking about, Change We Need? Changing energy? Saving the middle class? No: Changing the middle class. Yes We Can show those toothless gypsy whiners how to make a goddamn dollar every once in a while.
Here is a picture of handsome Mark Warner in the alternate reality computer game for dorks, Second Life. What amazing things will Mark Warner have to say tonight? Perhaps, “Please do not confuse me with the fellow who was married to Liz Taylor.” Or, “I am a human who has no lower jaw, only teeth.” [...]
Your Wonkette Hallway Correspondent files this important update from the subartic climes outside the nosebleed ring of seats. Nobody famous is walking around this area, but that doesn’t stop the doorway badge-checkers from fixing this editor with a look of deep suspicion as she blogs very quietly from a modest seated position on the floor [...]
CONVENTION PARTIES ARE TERRIBLE: Bill Maher doesn’t want people getting up while he does his comedy act, so people weren’t allowed to go outside for a cigarette at Rolling Stone‘s condom party. [The Field]
Here’s everything you need to make your very own Miss USA! Some assembly required. Shortly after this photo was snapped, your editor came face to face with Chuck Todd coming off the press elevator. He is magnificent in person.
WHOA DENNIS KUCINICH MAKES EVERYONE CRAZY! You realize that all the speeches are stale bullshit and it’s just a lot of background noise while Chris Matthews talks about his memories. But Dennis Kucinich just killed in here, with a screaming “WAKE UP AMERICA” rant/chant that was quick and nutty. Maybe true, too! [The Swamp]
While Ken and Sara have taken the “good passes” to the Pepsi Center, your humble associate editor has a mere “perimeter pass,” which gives access to the parking lot. But look what we’ve found in one of the plastic “media pavilions”: the Captain Morgan’s “Captain For President” lounge, with comfy black chairs and free Tanqueray. [...]
BACK TO HELL DOME: We’re off to Pepsi Center for another long day of indignities and dull horror. If you are a pal, send us a message and we’ll meet up at some media tent or “blogger lounge” before Hillary incites a housewife riot. Also, anything going on tonight? All of our big parties were [...]
SADDEST PROTEST EVER: “A group of about 20 veterans of the Iraq War have begun an unpermitted march from Cuernavaca Park to Civic Center.” [Denver Post]
There are many terrible jobs to be had at the Democratic National Convention: the trash Nazis who patrol the garbage cans making sure recyclables don’t get tossed into the forbidden “landfill” bin; the elevator operators trapped in plywood-lined boxes eight hours a day pushing buttons for angry media people; and the pitiable youngsters stuck managing [...]
What’s inside the great bag of stuff given to America’s Media (plus the foreigners) at the DNC? Let’s examine it, together, and wish we were at a fancier event, like the Golden Globes or something.
