drugs
We have a new candidate for America’s Next Top Mexican Sociophysiologist. America’s Governor, Jan Brewer of Arizona, said today that a “majority of the illegal trespassers that are coming into the state of Arizona” are drug mules. “There’s strong information to us that they come as illegal people wanting to come to work. Then they [...]
Famed Utah hazzan Senator Orrin Hatch proposed an amendment to the $140 billion jobs benefits extension bill today that would make people seeking welfare benefits first pass a drug test. Welfare will now be a level playing field, as poor people will not be able to get away with taking steroids to make themselves super-poor. [...]
RedState can’t get over Chris Christie’s no baloney governin’ style, especially his completely serious threat to “punch” the Teacher’s Union. What a man hunk … we hear gay wedding bells! [RedState] Who has time to blog as much as Matt Yglesias does? Media-saavy retired folk from the future and millions of grumpy unemployed people from [...]
Yes, governor, we do get it now! When you were leading thousands of morons in shouting “drill, baby, drill” (or, sorry, “drill,baby,drill”) and “drill here, drill now”, what you were trying to get at was that we should in no way be doing exploratory offshore drilling, baby, exploratory offshore drilling, because that’s dangerous. How could [...]
Former UN envoy Peter Galbraith just said on MSNBC that Afghanistan’s weirdo president, Hamid Karzai, is a junkie. “He can be very emotional, act impulsively,” Galbraith said on the Andrea Mitchell show. “In fact, some of the palace insiders say that he has a certain fondness for some of Afghanistan’s most profitable exports.” Ha ha, [...]
Hey so here is a thing! Once upon a long time ago (earlier this week, when your editor was busy Googling “galloway drink-soaked popinjay”) somebody took a picture of what looked suspiciously like ILLEGAL POWDERED DRUGS and said basically “Long day at the office, you would not BELIEVE where the office is BTW” and then [...]
Just a few months ago, the world watched with mouths agape as the assorted gentlemen of the Supreme Court tittered over a case involving a 13-year-old girl who’d been strip searched at school. The kid was accused by a fellow student (Curveball?) of handing out prescription-strength ibuprofen to her peers, and when school officials couldn’t [...]
Well, this is nifty! Consumer Reports performs a valuable service for you, the consumer, by putting giant phalluses through the rigors of a public cardiac stress test in Washington’s own Union Station. No wait, them there is pills, demonstrating how a scientist in the future might compare the effectiveness of different drugs. Note the eye [...]
Thursday, early evening. She turns the key to her Dungeon of Medicines, an isolated pod floating atop the highest vistas of Park Avenue. It is constructed of the finest Metals and can only be reached by rickshaw. Even after all these years, the scent of myrrh lingers. A glass of scotch is poured and she [...]
WHY MICHAEL PHELPS IS THE WORST PERSON EVER: Did you hear about this Phelps character, an elite swimmer who was photographed smoking the evil gateway drug marijuana? “It doesn’t matter that ‘everybody else is doing it,’ because my bet is that everybody else smoking pot at that student party at the University of South Carolina [...]
As approximately 15 bajillion tipsters have excitedly emailed us, Sarah Palin’s daughter’s soon-to-be-baby-daddy’s mom has been arrested for something having to do with drugs. On the one hand, this is totally non-news, because trashy white ladies get arrested every day for — well, whatever Sherry Johnston was arrested for, nobody’s saying. Dealing pot? Cooking meth? [...]
