elections
GORDON BROWN TO QUIT FOR LABOUR/LIB-DEM SEXYTIME: As mentioned in the post below, Posh-Ponce David Cameron couldn’t make a Tory/Lib-Dem deal, so now Nick Clegg is having romantic talks with Labour, and Gordon Brown just said he’d step down as Prime Minister so that Labour and the Lib-Dems can make a Shared Government against the [...]
How’s the polling going over on the crime-ridden alcoholic colony known as the British Isles? Not too good! Here are some actual news reports from Queen Elizabeth’s version of CNN, “the Beeb,” about how nature/fate is treating the various sods running for election today: Labour candidate Joe Benton “had the tip of his finger bitten [...]
David Axelrod held a briefing today with “reporters and opinion-makers,” you guys! He just wanted to get everyone together to remind them that the Democratic leadership made colossal, avoidable, unacceptable errors that completely ruined their agenda: “The White House had no contingency plan for health care reform if Democrat Martha Coakley lost the special election [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonGenerally speaking, most Americans can barely be bothered to vote during important elections — you know, the ones with years divisible by four! It’s even harder getting them off of their Dorito-stained couches to cast their ballots when it’s a year that’s an even number that isn’t divisible by four, and when [...]
It has been some time since we used to liveblog election results every single Tuesday for months at a time, so let’s do it tonight, on “Election Day 2009,” which has brought about as much excitement and suspense as the May 3, 2008 Democratic primary in Guam. The powers-that-be, like dicks, have constructed a system [...]
We all know that the ACORN organization — which has nothing better to do — is actively trying to steal the NY-23 special election from God’s candidate, Doug Hoffman, and give it to a randomly selected black aborted fetus on welfare, so it should come as no surprise that certain “local Democratic officials” (ACORN thugs) [...]
OMG did you hear what Hillary Clinton said, in Nigeria? “You know we’ve had all kinds of problems in some of our past elections as you might remember. In 2000, our presidential election came down to one state where the brother of the man running for president was the governor of the state, so we [...]
Wonkette recently deployed its own correspondent to Iran. What follows is her report. Names have been changed “because of the definition of anonymity.” Hi ya’ll! I’m so honored to be here with all the world-renowned Iranians. As a daughter, and as a Republican woman who is both a fiscal and social Democrat, I feel I [...]
California Secretary of State Debra Bowen oversees state elections, which occur on most days in California. Today is one of them! So someone get this lady a damn Taco from a truck already, Jesus. California will bleed tonight. [Twitter]
It’s pretty exciting to vote, right? Remember how cool you felt in November, voting for the black dude? Remember how fun it was, voting against goddamned Sarah Palin and Walnuts? And just cold goin’ down the ballot and voting against anybody with an “R” after their name? Fun times. You can relive the excitement today [...]
Did you know elections and vote-counting happen in places other than Minnesota? It’s true! Take, for example, India, where the monthlong (!) election just came to an end, and the results are coming in at this moment. Approximately a gigabyte of the country’s 700 million eligible voters went to the polls, which all used electronic [...]
Ha ha, Jim Martin lost like a little gay baby, and now we know why Obama never campaigned in the state for him: his two-time Senate election losingness in the same election. “With 90 percent of the state’s precincts reporting in Tuesday’s runoff election, Mr. Chambliss had 59 percent of the vote, and his Democratic [...]
…which is why they are so obsessed with these matters of grave national importance. Thanks to Wonkette Operative Brian for bringing this to our attention. [Washington Post/CNN]
Every four years, a mysterious combination of negligence, incompetence, fraud, and criminality conspire to make a single state responsible for getting some doofus into the White House. In 2000, Florida took the honor; in 2004, it was Ohio. And every four years, Hendrik Hertzberg writes angry editorials about how the whole electoral college should be [...]
Michael McAuliffe is a 45-year-old candidate for Palm Beach State Attorney with a marvelous plan to “reinvigorate” the staff at the State Attorney’s Office by covering their workspaces in a quarter-inch-thick felt made of human pubes, or something. Thanks to Wonkette operative JimmyJohn2 for the tip. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]
