eliot spitzer
No sooner did word break last March that New York governor Eliot Spitzer had been patronizing hookers than it devolved into deep unsexiness. We’re talking about Spitzer, after all, one of the least desirable humans on the planet! He refused to take off his socks during sexytime. His “high-class” hooker was just some Jersey girl [...]
Famed incidental ironist Bristol Palin will participate in a panel about preventing teen pregnancy. [CNN Political Ticker] Same sex marriage is now half-legal in Maine! Vermont is totally there in spirit but it got distracted because Ghostbusters was on teevee and also its roommate had just ordered food. [Ben Smith] David Plouffe, the sociopath who [...]
Governor David Paterson is pissed that Iowa and Vermont look more progressive than New York, so he is fixin’ to change that by introducing an exciting and controversial gay marriage bill to the surprisingly conservative New York State Assembly. It is much like the exciting and controversial gay marriage bill that Governor Eliot Spitzer introduced [...]
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Eliot Spitzer was on the Today show this morning to chat with Matt Lauer about that time the latter fought a deer with his bike, and lost. Now look, jokes about how Eliot Spitzer made it with all the ladies are not funny [...]
DAVID PATERSON IS FINISHED: New York Gov. David Paterson, whose reign started about a year ago in that very auspicious first week when he admitted to cheating on his wife and doing coke all the time, is trailing New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo 61-18 (!) in a theoretical gubernatorial primary poll. In a theoretical [...]
Watch out America, because Eliot Spitzer is buying LAND, LAND we tell you! LAND! In Washington D.C., right near where he banged the gal that time in the hotel thing.
Now that it’s officially pre-2009, we can start guiltlessly recycling all the material we’ve already written into Top Ten Posts. Today’s took a surprisingly long time to compile. It seemed like a good idea to look at all the funny terms we used to describe our Political Enemies, and it turns out that phrases like [...]
How do you “sex up” your latest middlebrow conventional-wisdom financial column in Slate, which is the U.S. News & World Report for people who have learned the computer? You hire a disgraced New York governor now only known for paying far too much money to have sex with a hooker! And that is worth one [...]
SPITZER TO EDIT SLATE’S NEW LADY BLOG, XX FACTOR: Or something! The Observer reports that human penis Eliot Spitzer will be writing a column for the online Slate magazine, starting tomorrow. Oh that Slate, always keeping us on our toes! The column “will appear every other week and it’ll be about government, regulation and finance.” [...]
Our favorite New Jersey hooker who accidentally destroyed Eliot Spitzer’s political career is just a dumb kid trying to make sense of a crazy world, right? And the only interesting thing in her entire life already happened. And she didn’t even know it! She had no idea who Spitzer even was, because who would know [...]
That girl who nailed Eliot Spitzer, Ashley “Alexandra” Dupre, has given an interview to ABC’s Diane Sawyer as part of Sawyer’s “Prostitution in America” investigative journalistic reportorial KGB-spy series. Look forward to all sorts of juicy nuggets along the lines of: “In high school, Dupre was an honor student, worked in a restaurant and ‘never [...]
Eliot Spitzer, the beloved Democratic ex-governor of New York and our nation’s personal Batman in the fight against prostitution, will not be charged for his innocent role in repeatedly hiring expensive prostitutes to have sex with him all over the Eastern Seaboard, because now Democrats run the entire world and ain’t nobody ever going to [...]
DOES HIS WIFE KNOW WHERE HE IS?: Yesterday the videographers at TMZ ran into disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, just a-walkin’ the streets of New York City! He was evidently searching for new prostitutes while carrying a tabbed folder, which was also filled with prostitutes. In this 20-second video, Spitzer says that he [...]
Disgraced whore-fucker Eliot Spitzer is done with this “help people with their lives” nonsense, now that he doesn’t have to govern New York or shut down prostitution rings while patronizing those same prostitution rings. He is ready to earn ONE BILLION WHORE DIAMONDS by becoming a “vulture” real-estate flipper.
