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Senator Scott Brown stiffed Patriot-Americans yet again on Monday by voting to consider a “temporary extension of unemployment benefits.” This does not sit well with wise cat-hording grandma Tom Coburn, a licensed medical professional from a real state and one of the nation’s leading experts in PRIORITY SCIENCE.
Well this sounds about right: “Mitt Romney skipped the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans, but he won a straw poll of likely 2012 presidential candidates there Saturday. The former Massachusetts governor came in first with 439 votes, one more than Rep. Ron Paul of Texas, followed by Sarah Palin with 330 and Newt [...]
It seems kind of crazy to think that encouraging a bunch of ignorant, racist, paranoid fucktards to hate the United States Government might actually backfire on the Republicans who would like to be in charge of that very same United States Government they’re encouraging a bunch of ignorant, racist, paranoid fucktards to rise up against, [...]
Cable channel Fox News needs content for its website, but of course Fox News stories consist of some video clips from a space movie, a weird chart with random numbers, and a couple of words like “socialist.” Tough to turn that into a few paragraphs on a web page. And that’s why America’s sad old [...]
Oh well, here she is, Miss Also America, proving once again why nobody would give her a job as a local-teevee-news announcer because GAH nails on chalkboard, etc. Your editor almost drove out to the southern Nevada mining town of Searchlight to witness this public-speaking abortion. But, honestly, being in the same town as Sarah [...]
Eric Cantor, America’s Asshole, went on the teevee yesterday to bravely announce he had just been the subject of a Savage Gunfire Attack, so the Democrats better Shut Up about all the death threats and BBQ-propane lines cut and faxes of anthrax. But it quickly became apparent that a) nothing of the sort actually happened, [...]
It was only a matter of time (fifteen months?) before a teabagger found out about this vulgar website “on the Internet.” All of us, everyone, will remember forever where they were and what they were wearing when some dumb guy on Hotmail (?!) wrote to your Wonkette and delivered the killing blow: WHY DON’T U [...]
What happens when you make a lousy low-budget movie with a story that goes nowhere and outdated special effects? You spend a whole lot of money marketing the crap. What happens if you have a vague understanding of this concept but you work for NASA, with its 1970s jalopy shuttles and its moment of glory [...]
Republican front-runner Go Ron Paul has endorsed Nancy Pelosi’s opponent in California! Did you know Nancy Pelosi had an opponent in California? It is apparently true. There have been other opponents, too, but none of them had the magic 19-sided-dice power of Doctor Paul. Good-bye, Mrs. So-Called Speaker of the House!
Ha ha, who is buying these fancy online ads on FoxNews.com? “You can help Scott Brown from the comfort of your own home (if you can’t attend a local phone bank). Sign up to get your own personal username and password.” Well, okay, if you really want us to do this …. [Call From Home]
Doug Hoffman, the wingnut geek who forced the Republican out of New York’s 23rd congressional district special election but then lost that election to the Democrat and then proceeded to concede and later unconcede, finally admitted defeat (again) today, which caused the spontaneous pregnancy of Sarah Palin (again) and the immediate sale of 1 gazillion [...]
Orange-headed bulb-nosed Mexican-hating fruitbat Lou Dobbs has really only failed at two things: Being a successful television news anchor, and being a dot-com executive. But the Space.com/CNN loser is now aiming to fail on a truly epic scale: He wants to run for president!!! Oh please, Lou, run for president. You can Mexican-wrestle Sarah Palin [...]
For about five weeks after 9/11, media people who had spent the previous decade jabbering about Monica Lewinsky and “Hillary Care” and O.J. Simpson and Pets.com and the Macarena and Krispy Kreme suddenly decided “everything changed” when some lousy terrorists did what they did and killed some 3,000 people who just happened to be flying [...]
Huzzah for the Golden State, where crazed prisoners will soon wander freely and the poor will wrestle for rat crumbs and all the parks will be closed and all the counties will be robbed of various monies and the GOP threatens to wreck even this rotten deal, because there is still a chance to make [...]
