fat slobs
Who is the latest casualty in Michelle Obama’s war against calories and fun? Prepare yourselves, because this one is a huge blow to this country’s Proud Obese and their important culture and lifestyle: the Darden Restaurant Corporation is what will now murder your children with mixed greens. You might not have heard of this Darden, [...]
Michelle Obama is trying very hard to help Americans slim down so they can stop buying clothes with sizes in the triple digits. She is probably so frustrated right now, because she has tried so many things. She has tried to get kids to exercise by teaching them hot dance moves. She has infiltrated day [...]
If you’ve been paying attention, you know that America is suffering from an obesity epidemic that may or may not exist. And you probably know that our FLOTUS, Michelle Obama, has deemed herself personally responsible for making sure that obesity ends forever and as soon as possible. Recently, however, our FLOTUS’ interest in veggies and [...]
Michelle Obama will not be pleased until every fat person in America rises up against her, which is why her anti-obesity campaign, also known as “Let’s Move!” has now mobilized on Twitter. Although Twitter was once a joke website where friendless losers could share real-time updates about their sad lives, it is now mostly an [...]
You may be aware by now that Michelle Obama is really interested in killing fat people with vegetables, faking Twitter pregnancies, and being Chinese. But did you also know that she is deeply concerned about the troops? Apparently, this obesity thing has gotten so far out of hand that there is almost no one left [...]
As you waited in line for a jumbo slice of pizza at Costco this weekend, did you notice that something was missing? Has the candy aisle at your local grocery store disappeared or been replaced with a shelf full of lettuce? If you have checked your fat son or daughter’s bedroom and noticed that there [...]
For most Americans, “staying in shape” is the involuntary act that occurs when the escalator breaks down at the shopping mall and everyone is forced to walk an extra fifty feet to the elevator, and an afternoon is ruined. But for fancy FLOTUS Queen Michelle Antoinette Obama, every day is a new excuse to put [...]
Thanks to Texas — “The Alaska of the Western South” — you can now slurp your American Beer out of a greasy dough pocket, to defeat Muslims! A patriot won the coveted “most creative” prize at The Big-Tex Choice Awards by frying beer in a pretzel pocket. Click2Houston reports: DALLAS — The best fried recipes [...]
