finance
The field for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination is getting very crowded with good candidates! The first step, of course, is to set up a Political Action Committee so that you can funnel money to your future campaign and to other politicians you want to buy, and now our pal Michele Bachmann has just done [...]
Former Clinton Chief of Staff Erskine Bowles and former Republican Senator Alan Simpson, co-chairs of Obama’s deficit commission, have done all the math and are coming out with their big report soon, and it turns out they do not think highly of our old chum the deficit. Bowles said it is “like a cancer,” which [...]
The first explanation for last week’s 15-minute collapse of the entire global economy was that some Citigroup trader pressed “b” instead of “m.” That was too comical to be true. Then people assumed it was some big Wall Street hedge fund screwing around with high-frequency trading. That was too predictably evil to be true. Now [...]
GOOD LORD, THESE PEOPLE COULD NOT BE ANY MORE ANNOYING: “May 10 (Bloomberg) — In early 2007, with subprime-mortgage defaults soaring, Wing F. Chau teamed with Merrill Lynch & Co. to create a $300 million pool of assets that shared a name with the main character in The Matrix movies who discovers reality isn’t what [...]
It’s been a great time for all, watching the political responses to the SEC’s decision to sue Goldman Sachs for fraud. Both Democrats and Republicans are searching for mischievous PROOF that rich people on Wall Street have donated money to the other party. And it might surprise you to learn that this proof is readily [...]
MASSIVE COMMUNISM: “Goldman Sachs, which emerged relatively unscathed from the financial crisis, was accused of securities fraud in a civil suit filed Friday by the Securities and Exchange Commission, which claims the bank created and sold a mortgage investment that was secretly devised to fail.” Silly SEC, you’re not allowed to do that. You all [...]
Harried Money Emperor Ben Bernanke testified in Congress again today about upcoming financial regulation measures and apparently pleased the Socialists by saying that increased transparency won’t do the trick — you have to straight-up ban certain financial instruments, starting with, say, the ones where lenders throw trillions of dollars of credit at random hobos without [...]
Look everyone, a wacky sentence: “WASHINGTON — Federal bank regulators plan to release the much-anticipated results of their ‘stress tests’ on the nation’s 19 biggest banks next Thursday, several days later than they had originally expected, in part because some of the banks continue to disagree with the government’s initial conclusions.” You do remember these [...]
Whoa, weird, Fox Business News has a delightful scoop today! They won a suit against the Treasury to release 10,000 pages in TARP-related government records, and for the good of mankind have already found a couple of funny anecdotes revealing cartoonish confusion and conflict. We’re starting to understand the mechanics of how AIG rips off [...]
Here’s some thrilling footage of last Saturday’s much-hyped “bus tour” of various AIG executives’ mansions, in Connecticut. The people on this tour… they do not make as much money as the AIG executives. This frustrates them. So they either read letters aloud or deliver them to the AIG executives’ mailboxes. C’mon, really? At least take [...]
No real reason for this, but someone sent us a screen shot of this ad for some fellow called the Ass Man and we thought it was comical. Is there anyone in the world who would trust this man’s advice, or take a single word of his seriously? Pronouns, prepositions, it doesn’t matter, they are [...]
The stock market has rallied in response to Tim Geithner’s latest details on his plan to fix America’s Banks by giving them lots of money for their trash, which makes sense, because the new plan is good good GOOD for Wall Street! Imagine a world where the government put up like 85% of the financing [...]
