• February 13, 2012

frauds

Deadlines are for losers, right? The Obama Administration will ignore a deadline this year to withdraw U.S. troops from Iraq, because why not. Defense Secretary/CIA chief/Clinton hack Leon Panetta will reportedly keep 4,000 U.S. troops in Iraq for “training,” which is always a great trouble-free way to keep the United States’ claws all over the [...]

Squirmish-y grifter Sarah Palin isn’t getting noticed enough by the media she pretends to hate! This is why the multi-millionaire human fraud and political quitter is begging the Huffington Post to please, please, please keep her in the blog-news cycle. It’s one thing to be a gleefully ignorant demagogue to a bunch of unemployed housebound [...]

Did you hear Barack Obama is giving a big speech tomorrow? He’s probably going to announce that the Koch Brothers will be managing his re-election campaign, and that the working poor will pay a 35% tax on all grocery and gasoline purchases for the next year, because “we all need to chip in to lower [...]

Just in case you were super concerned about how Michele Bachmann and John Boehner and Louie Gohmert and Joe Barton and the rest of America’s corrupt lunatic wingnut legislators would survive the Government Shutdown, don’t worry! They can still get paid, and they probably will — unpaid furloughs are for the commoners, hahahahahahaha. “Lawmakers would [...]

Minnesota communist Michele Bachmann (C-USSR) loves Socialism and Barack Obama and Black People so much that all she does is beg her black boyfriend Barack Obama for socialist money from the TAXPAYER so she can spend it on Big Government/Fat-Cat Pelosi porn. The Star-Tribune reports: ST. PAUL, Minn. – Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota [...]

He was a Maverick! Except, of course, he wasn’t any such thing. He had morals and convictions! Except, he never did, about anything. John McCain never did anything but squander the proud military legacy of his family and then carpetbag his way to Arizona where he smelled money and opportunity. He dumped his crippled wife [...]

America’s new Robert Byrd is John McCain, who will never be voted out of the Senate because Arizona Republicans are also too old and confused and stupid to know what’s happening, ever. Hooray for the ex-Maverick! It only cost Juan the last crumbs of his integrity and legacy, and it cost Cindy $20 million. But [...]

If you’re like most Americans, you’ve probably always wanted to get a fraud degree online from the University of Phoenix, but are concerned about that institution’s well-known Marxist ideology and don’t want to be brainwashed while trying to get your HVAC Repair certificate. Well, your day is just about to be made, because now you [...]

America’s bravest Fighter of Mexicans, Arizona governor Jan Brewer, just can’t stop talking about all the good reasons to round up brown people and kill them. After all, didn’t the Nazis round up all the Jews and Catholics and Queers and Other Minorities and kill them? Exactly. Oh wait, but the Nazis were the Bad [...]

Hooray for History’s Greatest Victim, Eric Cantor! Finally, after police immediately dismissed his bullshit claim that somebody shot up his office (a stray bullet fired at the sky had landed outside his ghetto office in Richmond), authorities have found an actual insane person on YouTube who threatened poor little Eric on YouTube! The same deranged [...]

Alabama fraud Parker Griffith, who won his congressional seat as a Democrat but just switched to the GOP because he likes to fuck boys he’s scared of southern teabaggers, got a special karmic present today from his entire staff: They all quit! HA.

Yikes, did we imply Sarah Palin was acting like a “normal ‘Merikun” in eastern Washington State for Thanksgiving? Sorry about that! Palin was just being a Prima Donna nutcase, like always.

Well, people of Detroit, it appears you did not pray hard enough for Monica Conyers, and now she may have to go to jail for a while. The Detroit City Council President Pro Tem and completely insane violent creep Mrs. Conyers, wife of US Representative John Conyers, pleaded guilty to conspiracy this morning in connection [...]

Remember Sarah Palin, the briefly famous wingnut lady who can’t speak, can’t read and can’t even remember the name of a single newspaper she pretends to read every day? Yeah, she’s getting millions of dollars from HarperCollins to write her “memoirs.” Jesus. She hired a lawyer last year (after she lost the election for McCain) [...]

Ted Stevens is 85 years old and has served in the United States Senate since Reconstruction. He now has to leave, because he lost his latest re-election bid to some warm-blooded mammal from Anchorage. Join us as he delivers a stirring rendition of “Non, je ne regrette rien” before committing seppuku with a whale tusk.