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Ready to ruin your Saturday night? Then please join us, as we liveblog the New Hampshire ABC News secret-handjob 2012 debate. Let’s hurt together, the way Santorum would want Jesus to hurt us, should we accidentally have the buttsex. Mitt Romney, known as “the guy who is really spending a lot of money to be [...]
OMG you guys, Mitt Romney has a Flickr account. It is incredible. Here’s one of the very first pictures that “caught our eye,” oh lord. Mitt Romney, everyone! He has a Flickr, just like that Barack Obama did, back in 2008.
Are those syndicated shows like “C.O.P.S.” still a thing, with the haw-haw video of poor people committing minor property crimes or trying to take some drugs to dull the misery of existing in a rotten society? There’s still such a feature in the Bay Area, in the shitty KRON-TV local news. Let’s all have laffs [...]
While the Republicans try to force a default of the American Nation with such tactics as “scholarship grants are for communists,” the Democrats are engaged in an exciting game of catch-up. “Oh,” Obama might say, looking thoughtfully at his hands, “Pell Grants are communist? Well then, I offer a compromise of shutting down Medicare and [...]
Are you psyched for the next seventeen months of presidential candidate news bytes? Remember, the first primary is still a summer and a fall and a winter away, and here’s the kind of thing you’re going to be seeing a lot, to fill the gaping news hole: “Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich briefly stopped a campaign [...]
Playgirl model and father of at least one “Palin baby” Levi Johnston is about to add another accomplishment to his resume: literary sensation. Levi, who became famous for impregnating one of Sarah Palin’s children, is the author of the forthcoming Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs. C’mon, Levi, those are just [...]
Well, the 2012 presidential race is over, babies. Sharron Angle, who stumbled briefly on the Road of Bones but will soon be Queen of the Apocalypse, rocked the Karaoke Weekend by bursting into song — the only song, if you are a True American. The Reagan Re-Election/Gulf War I stinker “God Bless the USA,” infamously [...]
Why did Sluggo quit baseball? Who didn’t shut it down? Why is there so much crack in Cairo? These are the stories making news at 3 a.m. in Washington D.C. and midnight somewhere else, maybe the West Coast.
Since the Legendary Days of Horrors Past when our SPY magazine would arrive by postal mail with yet another vicious attack on short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump, people have wondered about the uncouth troglodyte’s horrible hairpiece thing hanging over his neanderthal forehead and beady eyes. Now, perhaps, the mystery is solved: The Donald is either building [...]
Once upon a time, Sarah Palin actually had a job. She was elected governor of Alaska! And, for a few months at least, she often went to work and even made a brief effort to “help Alaskans” who weren’t named Palin. The primary legacy of Sarah Palin’s only actual full-time job was the increased taxes [...]
Wow, we are not even going to click through these, because we kind of remember the last several batches of “extremely graphic” pictures of U.S. troops and U.S. military contractors murdering and torturing Muslims in the various countries where America continues to murder and torture people, for Freedom. In fact, we’re going to cover our [...]
