germany
Like so many McCain campaign disasters — choosing Phil “Poor People Suck” Gramm as financial adviser or announcing a press conference on an oil rig during a hurricane — it probably seemed like a terrific idea at the time: Harass Barack Obama into embarking on an international fact-finding mission thing, which would obviously provide so [...]
McCain’s Masterful ‘Attention-Getting’ Scheme Canceled Due To Poor Weather
by Jim Newell
Ha, so get this. John McCain and pals very recently came up with the MEDIA PLOY OF THE CENTURY: they were going to Take The Media Back from Barack Obama during his big speech in Berlin tomorrow, which at least 400 million people will attend (hurrah), by speaking from an oil rig off the coast [...]
ANGELA MERKEL INSPECTS BARACK OBAMA’S EQUIPMENT, FINDS IT SATISFACTORY: “Asked at a news conference on Wednesday what she thought of Obama, Merkel responded: ‘I would say that he is well-equipped — physically, mentally and politically.’” [Reuters]
Here’s the fourth paragraph in today’s offering from New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol: “The Siegessäule is an impressive structure (especially if you have a militaristic bent). It’s a large fluted sandstone column on a base of polished red granite, topped by a golden statue of winged Victory. Completed in 1873, it [...]
Barry Obama’s still living large on his European/Central Asian/Middle East luxury basketball vacation, which will finish up with a big speech rally thing in Berlin, the German city where David Bowie recorded Heroes. But just like when JFK and Ronald Reagan went to East Berlin and demanded that Hitler “Tear Down That Wall,” it seems [...]
Barack Obama To Deliver Speech In Front Of Massive German Phallus
After veritable days of speculation about where Barack Obama would deliver an inspirational speech to the German people — the sausage barn where JFK declared he was a donut? the Reichstag? Angela Merkel’s bosom? — we finally get an answer. He will speak in front of Berlin’s “Siegessaeule,” or Victory Column! According to Politico, it [...]
Here is your Barack Obama on the cover of a German magazine called zitty, which according to Wonkette German Translation Operative Mia is “Berlin’s version of Time Out.” She writes, “The headline translates roughly to, ‘I am Black! And that’s great.’ It’s a word play on the coming-out speech of Berlin’s gay mayor.” The article [...]
Ever since the Bingo Hall (Clinton campaign HQ) closed, we’ve experienced a tragic drop-off in whimsical nutball emails. So it was with both gratitude and relief that we opened this gem today. Apparently we should not watch any movies with Scarlett Johansson in them, because it upsets the parents of her clone, or something. Maybe [...]
Here’s WALNUTS! on this morning’s Today show, fucking himself over. He says that getting our troops out of Iraq is “not too important” considering the fact that we have military bases in such places as Japan and Germany, still. You may recall this “permanent occupation” line of logic from the Republican primary season, as it [...]
Here’s a doll of “Onkle Barack,” as crafted by a renowned artisan from Nazi Germany. It only costs 139 Euros, which is like 200 or 300 Ameros, so you all can buy it and sleep with it because you like him so damn much, rotten kids… [Some German Online Store, Spiegel]
Germans Celebrate Obama In Special Way That They Don’t Understand
by Jim Newell
Ha ha, here is some great newspaper from Nazi Germany that comically names the White House “Uncle Tom’s Cabin,” because a slave may soon call it home. This is very offensive, according to the Internet, and of course we all know why: what a nasty way to detract from Obama’s writing skill, by comparing it [...]
Every four years, Europeans get mad at Americans because only stupid ignorant U.S. citizens get to elect their president (who is always George W. Bush). So this year our friends overseas were delighted to participate in a meaningless poll conducted by the Telegraph, which showed conclusively that your average bewhiskered European hausfrau is just as [...]
Hillary Clinton Elected President Of China And Mexico!
John McCain Vaguely Indirectly Compares Putin to Hitler
by Jim Newell
