gitmo
We are still trying very hard to ignore this Casey Anthony thing, but it is difficult to do this when it continues to inspire the minds of Americans with abortion jokes and dumb talking points. Oh, in case you managed to escape this horror, Casey Anthony is a lady from Florida who probably murdered her [...]
Republican governors are deeply envious of union-bustin’ blowhard Scott Walker and all of his delicious campaign Koch-tributions. Especially Florida governor Rick Scott! Sometimes Rick Scott fantasizes about skinning Scott Walker and then making a body suit out of the skin, so that he can have something nice to wear for important occasions (like the Royal [...]
Here is the morning’s top non-news story: Famous terrorist organization Wikileaks has released Top Secret documents which suggest that America’s Permanent Detention Center in Cuba is full of innocent people! How could this be? The leaked Detainee Assessment Briefs also include “intelligence” coerced from detainees, after they were “interrogated.” For instance, al-Qaeda has allegedly “hidden [...]
Growing hysteria about radiation-rich tap water deemed “unfit for babies” (someone’s picky!) has led to a bottled water shortage in Tokyo. And while supermarkets have plenty of vegetables and fine meats, there’s hardly any instant noodles to purchase — not even for ready money. (Similar to a glass of water, a Styrofoam cup of chicken-flavored [...]
Happy belated Gitmo Day! On Jan. 11, 2002, the United States captured a few dozen civilians in Afghanistan, then shipped them to a lawless shithole Navy base on an embargoed island. It was there, at Gitmo, that these confused civilians morphed into Enemy Combatants and then lost all of their human rights — sort of [...]
What is America’s favorite alcoholic, chain-smokin’ orange mutant mumbling about this time? New spending cuts every week, forever! That is his Pledge to America. Also: “Gitmo stays open until the ocean eventually gobbles up Cuba.” When this happens it will be renamed “Gitmo Underwater.” Should they take control of the House in the midterm elections, [...]
Hollywood movies, Playstation 3, “life skills” classes, Skyping, book-learning, foosball: This is the stuff of ultimate pleasure, and the basic ingredients one needs to create their American dream. So why are the detainees at Guantanamo Bay and their scary beards now enjoying these fruits of USA! USA! innovation and delight? They deserve only AIM and [...]
The Tea Party Convention thing in Nashville will be broadcast on teevee, for a reason that apparently exists. [New York Times] Abstinence-only education works after all, which means the government will probably deploy a slightly re-worked “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (Anything)” policy in our nation’s middle schools. [Washington Post] Obama’s asked for $230 million in [...]
Libtards across America think it would be just fine to put Guantanamo detainees in a maximum-security prison in northern Illinois, where they could paint each other’s fingernails while threatening to unleash a biological attack on “the mainland” (Iowa). But some people find this objectionable, and so they went to a public hearing on the proposed [...]
Hey heads up: PETA is offering to take whatever prison that Obama decides not use for terrorist collecting—Guantánamo, or that maximum security job in Thomson, IL that might be New Guantánamo—and turn it into a “All Living Beings Empathy Center.” It’d be symbolic as shit, right, because the Guantánamo human torture can be sort of [...]
A lot of gynecologists and other lady and/or oncological doctors disagree completely with yesterday’s new things about mammography announcement. [New York Times] Obama admitted that Gitmo is not going to close by January. This makes keeping his promise to close Gitmo by January a considerably tenuous one. [Washington Post] Between fraud and anything having to [...]
Don’t click the link. Don’t watch the video. Don’t listen to this shitbird. Okay maybe watch a little bit. [PJTV]
The worst bands on Earth are very offended that their music has been played at Gitmo as part of actual torture, which, legally-speaking, is somehow different than being playing in your stupid brother’s car like constantly. All your favorites—Trent Reznor, Billy Bragg, Tom Morello, etc. etc.—have joined the National Campaign to Close Guantanamo, some sort [...]
