Wonkette

Everyone should thank CNN today for thoroughly debunking the “rumor” that Barack Obama is the Antichrist (seriously, this is somehow classified as a “rumor,” that Obama may have magical powers). The big headline, “OBAMA THE ANTICHRIST?” along with the subhed claiming that this is a real “debate” online and thousands of other images of ANTICHRIST ANTICHRIST EVIL SATAN were very necessary for the viewers watching said debunking. Raw Story has the video. Oh and let’s thank CNN for covering this same thing yesterday, too. [Raw Story]

• THE FREE MARKET, IT WORKS!: All of you gossip hounds probably know this already, but the website for popular celebrity magazine Us Weekly is actually “UsMagazine.com,” whereas “UsWeekly.com” is, well, an anti-Obama smear site. Oh it’s talking about liberation theology… oh my. [The Frisky]

Oh man, weren’t we done with this guy? When did everybody know he had affairs and mistresses? We knew in October — if by “knew” you mean we posted some crap that the National Enquirer “reported” and the Huffington Post repeated. But now, suddenly, it seems there might be a pretty good prime-time speech slot open on probably Tuesday at the Democratic Convention, because John-John’s got (an alleged) love child! MORE »

So remember how 2008 is going to be so different because of the YouTubes and the MySpaces? Turns out that’s maybe all true!

Our first candidate-mistress story backed by a MySpace page that could’ve been set up by literally anyone is here, and it comes complete with softcore half-naked pictures, Larry King and Donald Trump.

Meet Starr Shephard, after the jump.

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* Heard on the Hill: TMZ wanted to make Loretta Sanchez the “Paris Hilton of DC” … Unmarked Cap Police car stolen… Senior Aide to Rep. Mike Rogers arrested for domestic violence. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Someone stole some art from the Artomatic… Christina Ricci was here! [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Pelosi’s got a biographer… Sam Waterson non-partisan Unity08 blah blah blah… Moms Norah O’Donnell parties books blah blah blah… Clinton presidency would make Bill “ambassador to the world.” Kucinich would give that made-up job to Jimmy Carter. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Jim McCrery refuses to hang out with poor Chuck Rangel… Bill Clinton chairing congressional black caucus’ golf and tennis tourney. Oh wait, Obama’s on that caucus! … 53 Republicans voted against a bill naming a goddamn Post Office for Rachel Carson. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: This too crazy and dumb to summarize: “White House press secretary Tony Snow and his band, Beats Workin’, will face off against legendary CBS newsman Bob Schieffer and Honky Tonk Confidential at the National Press Club’s first-ever battle of the bands, “Honky Tonk Meets the White House Wonk,” at the Club on May 14.” … Skits performed by politicians sound even more terrible than you’d imagine… Joe Biden mocked by William Shatner… Iraq vote might imperil South Carolina debate! [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Hillary guest-blogged on Firedoglake. Hey, Hill, we could use some time off, wanna sit in for a day or two? [WP]

* Heard on the Hill: Dude who challenged Sander Levin in 2002, then gave up because running for office is hard, made up all the info he told the FEC, actually raised all his money from his dad… Dennis Kucinich confused everyone by saying he wouldn’t impeach Dick Cheney, then changing his mind… Hill Staffer date auction to end in tears, mistakes, frantic CVS trips… Gonzales hearings generated most streaming vid traffic for C-Span ever. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Cheney booed by pedestrians on his way to the hospital. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Chelsea to eventually hit campaign trail for her mom… Tucker Carlson called Mitt Romney gay. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: The people at Strathmore’s party on Saturday seemed to be having more fun than the idiots at the WHCD… Wesley Clark spamming Facebook, creeping out kids. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Dennis Kucinich finally impeached Dick Cheney. [WP]

* Heard on the Hill: Susan Collins partied enough at the WHCD to cover for all the absentee members… Spitzer and Bloomberg get $26 haircuts at the same barber. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Sheryl Crow and Larry and Laurie David all went to Charlie Palmer’s on Sunday… Carl Bernstein’s Hillary book is due soon. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Remember ‘The Right Brothers’? The “conservative” “rock” “band” that was funny on the internet a couple months back? Yeah? Well, how ’bout them, right? … Trent Lott perhaps not as interested in the arts as you thought. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Someone is challenging cocaine enthusiast Robert Wexler… Tort reformer John Sullivan had his lawsuit thrown out. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Senator Lisa Murkowski’s office full of internet-browding iPod-listening slackers… People said things at parties last weekend. [Politico]

So did everyone else have a good time at the party? Huh? MORE »

* Reliable Source: Lawyer who worked for FDR finally retiring… Sarah Gore’s getting hitched. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Jeff Gannon said a lot of crazy nonsense at Nathans. Harlan “Shock and Awe” Ullman denied patronizing the DC Madam. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Bush will be v somber tomorrow. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: WHCA dinner to be packed with Repub 08 candidates, few Dems. [WP]

* Heard on the Hill: All the Republicans at the Capitol Club want to make out with Fred Thompson sooooo much… Sen. Ben Nelson made Rep. Lee Terry an “Admiral” in the “Nebraska Navy.” … Hill Staffers loved the Blackberry outage… Heather Podesta is throwing Rep. Peter Visclosky a “Sausage Party”! [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Lots and lots of people are going to the WHCA dinner… The new issue of Washington Monthly looks like US Weekly, ’cause those kids love to have a laugh now and then. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Everyone in Congress took a bunch of potshots at Don Imus… Sheryl Crow is ditching the National Cathedral, typical… Mark Pryor: king of the terrible metaphor… Loretta Sanchez wants to work out with some ladies for once. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Loretta Sanchez loves walking! … Washington Monthly is all about Power Couples! … Pete Hoekstra’s aides will be delivering tulips to other offices today… Robert Byrd vowed to change “business as usual” in the Senate, meaning business as he’s known it for the 200 years he’s been a senator… NPR is moving. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: PETA dude’s book party to be held at James Carville and Mary Matalin’s house… Fergie is coming to DC to hang out at a McDonald’s on Wisconsin Ave tomorrow. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Rummy and Newt love Wagner. [WP]