governor
Liberal warblog celebrity Ned Lamont was last in the news back in 2008, when he sat down for a lengthy interview (“Hey are you Ned Lamont?”) with Wonkette’s Jim Newell aboard a shuttle bus in Denver, can’t remember the occasion. And before that, Lamont was a pin-up for the Daily Kos webzine, and then poor [...]
Norm Coleman, one of the most celebrated Republican Blingees of all time, announced today that he would not be running for governor of Minnesota. This is an offense to the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, another very important Republican Blingee.
True fact: Texas has had the same governor since the 1970s, when a man with a thickly feathered coif captured the hearts of many Texan ladies and cowboys. His name was Rick Perry, and he decided to keep running for governor every four years because voters were too dumb and lazy to ever notice that [...]
We feel a bit sorry for treefucker Mark Sanford’s communications department, like this harried spokesperson Joel Sawyer, who probably knows only these facts: Sanford grabbed a pair of keys at some point Thursday, told everyone in the office, “Enjoy working, losers, I’ll be back in a week or whenever,” smacked the secretary’s ass on his [...]
There is a special rule in politics: only Republicans can be actors (Reagan, Schwarzenegger, Thompson). Republican actors are “serious,” whereas the Democrats are just a bunch of hippie slobs who want to make North Korea our 51st state. That is why Val Kilmer cannot run for governor of New Mexico.
Just a few short years ago, candidates for political office announced they were getting in the race by doing something civilized like standing outside and making a speech, to live humans. Now you just announce it on the vulgar “Twatter” service employed by narcissists, creepy old men, and highly accomplished [Note: Beautiful young "Meg McCabe" [...]
Here’s former eBay CEO (and make-believe founder) Meg Whitman, the less terrible of John McCain’s two campaign CEO Henchwomen, announcing her run for California governor in 2010, on the YouTube! Ha she is so rich — she BOUGHT PRINCETON or something recently — so maybe she will win. But the choice of what appears to [...]
Terry McAuliffe, the famous American statesman who helped Hillary Clinton win the presidency by bravely volunteering to do shots of rum on live television very early in the morning, deserves whatever office he decides to run for. He has offered to bestow his gubernatorial blessing on the great state of Virginia, a place he has [...]
Just nine and a half months ago, everybody loved David Paterson for being everything that Eliot Spitzer was not. Instead of a terse, sanctimonious Captain America who kept his socks on when he furtively humped hookers, Paterson was an affable, self-deprecating, pleasant gentleman who managed to persuade a woman who was not his wife to [...]
Former DNC Chair Terry McAuliffe loved Hillary Clinton so much that when she was obviously and definitively losing in her bid for President, he helpfully appeared on many television news shows drinking rum and cracking wise about how she was a shoe-in, she’d win this thing in a walk, blah blah blah. Basically Terry McAuliffe [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonLet’s just get it out there: Rod “Blago” Blagojevich has awesome hair. Sure, it may be a sign of some crippling psychological disorder, but it’s a symbol of Rod “The Blag Man” Blagojevich’s virility and stature, and we all have to respect it. Rod “Blagger Of The Year” Blagojevich dreamed of bringing [...]
He might be a young, callow religious nutball with an unhealthy testicle fixation, but Bobby Jindal is not dumb! This spring when everybody was cold speculatin’ about whether he’d be selected for Republican Vice Presidential nominee, Bobby Jindal was busy slowly backing away from the tragic band of idiots known as the McCain campaign.
He has apparently signed the papers necessary to run for governor of Virginia in 2009. And you people worried that there would be no more jokes in America after Obama got elected! Thanks to McAuliffe-watcher Ellie for this important info. [BNO News Twitter]
Hell, we don’t know: “A Republican source confirms that John McCain has chosen Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his running mate. Campaign officials, however, remain mum this morning.” One plane-tracking Wonkette reader notes that the plane that may have flown Palin into Ohio last night was classified as type “GLF.” HMMMMMMMM. UPDATE: CNN confirms [...]
