grifters
Didn’t you sort of feel like Herman Cain said he was just going out for a pack of smokes, and then we never heard from him again and somehow got stuck with his car note and a bunch of boring creepo ‘Washington insiders?’ Well, CAIN’S BACK, BABY. Just goes to show you can’t keep a [...]
Rick Perry’s comprehensive new policy platform for “fixin’ shit” is just to slash Congress’ $174,000 annual paychecks in half and cut back on the time that Congress spends in Washington, as punishment for making everyone hate them. This is Rick Perry’s huge “solution” to everything according to his new campaign ad, an idea that has [...]
The Democratic Party is still not entirely sure what to do with this “Occupy Wall Street” stuff beyond allowing for a few cautious statements from one or another “liberal” member of Congress let out of the pen for a few minutes to say something to the effect of “it’s possible people might be somewhat fed [...]
Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened yet and look, here already is a giant plate of half-putrefied “leftovers” to add to the compost bin: mutant overgrown toad wart Roger Ailes nearly (OH GOD, WHY NEARLY) evicted yammering reject Sarah Palin from his evil teevee space beams in an enraged fit right after she “announced” she was quitting [...]
As America prepares to give Newt Gingrich his turn at waterboarding its collective unconscious with streams of incessant nonsense the media will for some reason pretend to pay attention to for a couple weeks, men’s fashion zine GQ brings us this late-breaking SCOOP about nearly-forgotten idiot Herman Cain’s political platform on, uh, pizza toppings: “A [...]
We are a little weary of reading the 999 million reports about Herman Cain’s futile efforts to get his dementia-laden storylines about those sexual harassment allegations to line up, so let us escape together briefly, for laffs, in our queer solar-powered time machines back to when Herman Cain was losing his other attempt at political [...]
Alright you weirdos (we say it with love), here by popular demand of the zillion or so tipsters who were revolted enough by Michele Bachmann’s latest apparently irony-free email spam offer to “fleece” her supporters in exchange for money — funny how that works! — that you all forwarded it to us knowing we would [...]
Delusional vanity candidate Herman Cain is still successfully duping his excitable mouth-breather viewers watching at home into believing that he is at least half-interested in running an actual presidential campaign instead of just siphoning money from the donations to buy up his terrible books, but apparently his staffers are starting to grow wise to the [...]
What is the real trouble with the Occupy Wall Street movement these days? Nobody is making enough money off it! Anti-corporate sentiment is finally hip enough to be mass marketable again, so you can all retire those Che Guevara t-shirts at last, hippies. You’ve got a new brand now! MTV is busily producing some slick [...]
Oh, this is cute: delusional pizza man Herman Cain made his presidential campaign purchase over a hundred grand in copies of his own weird book sold by his own for-profit company! That is why God invented long-shot political campaigns after all, to help ambitious grifters shill prematurely titled books like This Is Herman Cain! My Journey to [...]
OH FINALLY: here is this thing we briefly forgot about but will now post “for comedy” announcing that Samuel “Joe the Grifter Tax-Delinquent Fake Plumber” Wurzelbacher decided he is running as a Republican for a seat in the crappier chamber of Congress even though God begged him not to and Joe hates Republicans. Such a [...]
Insecure snowbilly vampire Sarah Palin has resurfaced from her Alaska lair to resume sucking up American media air time with her One Nation Bus Tour aimless cross-country grifting. Palin visited Iowa to attend the premiere of a documentary featuring endless footage of the stiff beehive hairdos she wore as Alaska governor, and for the massive free barbecue [...]
Overhyped reality neutron starlet Bristol Palin continues to grift across the country shilling her new book about doing whippets on the backs of snowmobiles as a toddler growing up in Alaska, so we know at least one person in America still has a job. Oh look, and she has appeared on Sean Hannity’s Fox News [...]
Oh, look what nonsense is filling up our inbox already this morning! Unemployed sorceress Christine O’Donnell is out and about grifting with the pros these days, hawking her new memoir that some Tea Party guy thinks you should buy out of “love and support” for this person you had almost entirely forgotten existed until she [...]
