• February 13, 2012

hawaii

Unsatisfied with the terrible death and destruction in Chile, the Evil Earthquake is now hoping to wipe out the Hawaiian Islands with a Terrible Tsunami. Alleged Hawaiian Barack Obama just warned his people on the Sandwich Islands that the killer wave spawned by the 8.8 Chilean quake should start bashing the shores in about an [...]

THIS IS A SERIOUS MEETING. HE DOES NOT ENJOY WEARING THESE CLOTHES. “The Republican National Committee winter meetings kicks off in Hawaii on Wednesday, but GOP Chairman Michael Steele — who picked the tropical location — insists there will be serious business involved. ‘Relax,’ Steele said while sporting a Hawaiian shirt and a flower lei. [...]

Most people who know anything about politics recognize that Katon Dawson and other influential slaveowners at the RNC will be drafting a plan to both re-enslave and kill Michael Steele, simultaneously, at their upcoming gay slaveowner retreat in Hawaii. But only now are we learning of the first step in this process. According to the [...]

Former South Carolina GOP chair Katon Dawson wanted so bad to earn his nut as chairman of the Republican National Committee in last year’s hysterical six-dimensional gangbang of an internal election process, one that hilariously culminated in Michael Steele’s first-ever victory in any contest. Dawson yearned so much for this position that he even resigned [...]

Say, which two flavors of protesters are so devoted to their causes that they’ve chased Obama all the way to his terrifying pineapple tundra, Hawaii, in the middle of this brutal winter? (Nope, no PUMAs — TSA still has of its shit together enough to crash that party.) On one side of the street you’ll [...]

Sarah Palin, what a whiner! She went on vacation and drew on her visor, with a marker, and now she is QUITTING her foreign Hawaiian fun-trot because somebody pointed out that she drew on her visor with a marker.

Here is this latest Sarah Palin thing that is also the world’s top political DC gossip: While on vacation in the eastern African nation of Hawaii, Sarah Palin wore a John McCain eponymous old man visor, except crossed out the “John McCain” part with marker. Possibly pen. Anyway is it time for Willow to go [...]

Whoa, neato! “Researchers on Thursday announced the discovery of two World War II Japanese submarines, including one meant to carry aircraft for attacks on American cities and the Panama Canal, in deep water off Hawaii, where they were sunk 63 years ago.” They are still operational and Obama plans to operate them, on America and [...]

LIKELY VOTERS IN NORTH CAROLINA, A BLUE STATE: “Public Policy Polling also asked those surveyed whether they consider Hawaii to be part of the U.S. Five percent said no, and 3 percent said they were not sure.” What is this “consider” business? [News & Observer]

If we don’t have the F-22, how are we going to fight China, on the Moon? [RedState] From now on, please refer to Matt Yglesias as the Breeding Male. Thank you. [Matt Yglesias] First there was Tom Paine, with his annoying pamphlets. And then there was That Guy, who brutalized baby dolls and then hung [...]

Amazing things have happened in the House this afternoon; go read all of what Sam Stein wrote, here, he’s good at these things. Briefly, though: Rep. Neil Abercrombie of Hawaii — former buddy of Barack Obama Senior! — introduced a resolution “Recognizing and celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the entry of Hawaii into the Union [...]

The pineapple heads over in Hawaii have passed the worst piece of legislation EVER, worse even than the Fugitive Slave Act. They have decided to make September 24, 2009 into “Islam Day,” which will feature forcible conversions, public executions, and widespread consumption of halal meats.

POLITICO MUST BE BOMBED TO HELL, RIGHT NOW: “Obama has been photographed several times without his shirt as a presidential candidate but he’s about to step into the White House — so how much skin is too much? There is a fine line, experts said, and this time at least, Obama was on the right [...]

Our own Jim Newell is a modern day NOSTRADAMUS. Just four days ago he wrote about gays hatin’ on Pastor Rick Warren, “This furious resistance will last, at most, four days, when new shirtless pixxx of Obama in Hawaii will leak to the Huffington Post and everyone will forget about gay invocations or whatever.” Well, [...]

To answer your question re: the headline: the white one. She’s so sick right now! According to spokesman Robert Gibbs, “In the last few weeks her health has deteriorated to the point where her situation is very serious.” Rumor has it that she’s still suffering injuries from an incident this past Spring in which a [...]