hostages

9:50 am December 13, 2010

America’s single greatest achievement, John Boehner, was interviewed on last night’s 60 Minutes, and, thanks to his stage mom standing off camera, yelling at him to cry on cue, he didn’t disappoint. “I’ve never been in a tanning salon in my life, I’ve never used a tanning product in my life,” he said, his tears [...]

BLUR THE BACKGROUND SO THE POLICE CAN'T TELL WHERE WE ARE

Ben Quayle Points Gun At ‘Wife,’ Forces Her To Talk Into Camera

by Jack Stuef

4:42 pm October 4, 2010

91 comments 5928 Views

Jesus, why does Ben Quayle have to be so creepy in every ad he makes? What is even going on here? Oh, we see, he’s stuck a gun into this woman’s back and told her to read the cue card. That’s why her face organs are projecting pure, doe-eyed fear at the voters of Arizona. [...]

TERRORISM: SHARKS VS. JETS

Which Political Side Attacked Discovery Channel?

by Jack Stuef

6:03 pm September 1, 2010

101 comments 5267 Views

BREAKING NEWS: That crazy guy who was maybe strapped with a bomb and took hostages in the Discovery Channel headquarters in Silver Spring was shot (UPDATE: and killed) and all the hostages are safe. Hooray! His name is James Lee, and he protested there a lot, and one time he threw thousands of dollars in [...]

HE IS NO LORD NELSON I WILL TELL YOU THAT

Why Hasn’t Obama Solved Piracy?

by Sara K. Smith

12:01 pm April 10, 2009

75 comments 4363 Views

This American president, he has fleets of destroyers and an army of fearsome AT-AT walkers at his disposal and still he cannot contend with a very organized band of Africans trolling the waters off the Somalian coast. What gives, Obama? Why do you love pirates so much?

HILLARY CLINTON