house
Steve Holland, Democratic Representative of Mississippi, has embraced the latest trend of taunting the powers that be with a bill proposing renaming the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America! H.B. 150 was introduced to Mississippi’s Marine Resources Committee this week, and it contains real words about why this is potentially actually happening (knowing Mississippi, [...]
People who are not Sarah Palin and/or “Snooki” may not understand the importance the Indoor Tanning Industry plays in making people look like wrinkled, rotten oranges with melanoma, but weeping boozebag would just be a bright red nose on a bloated clown face if not for the magic of the tanning beds down at the [...]
Look, Rep. John Fleming is too busy putting food on the table with his $400,000 business income (after food expenses and all other expenses) to know that THE ONION is a satire publication and there are no plans for an $8 Billion Abortionplex in the works, as of now.
At a certain point, when something is unpopular enough, it is eradicated. And yet, the U.S. Congress continues to exist! Here is a new poll in the Washington Post that proves the American Houses of “Representative Government” have a nationwide approval rating of 9 percent. Guess what’s more popular than the U.S. Congress? Well, a [...]
Did you treat yourself to an extra Tylenol PM last night after the local foosball cartel won and/or lost? In your ensuing fitful dreams, did you live in a country where federal officeholders can legally use confidential briefings with cabinet secretaries as opportunities to tweak their investment portfolios? YOU WEREN’T DREAMING, DUMMY, YOU WERE WATCHING [...]
You know how the politicians are always saying we need to be competitive with China? Well, we are about to get super competitive when it comes to internal censorship of the global Internet. Everybody except for a handful of malcontent “privacy activists” is behind the bold new plan to make all Internet service providers in [...]
The “new thing” in America is being desperately poor, until an audience of Tea Party sociopaths maniacally cheers your death outside the razor-wire fence of the hospital. But some of these uppity poors are so desperate that they’ve politely begged the rich monsters of Congress to forgive their many debts. HR 365 was introduced today, [...]
What’s happening in the exciting/awful dullsville of dismantling America? Well, jaundiced boozebag John Boehner did just what his bosses told him — he even coordinated the extremist-corporate bill’s passage with the publication of some jackass propaganda posted under his byline at the National Review Online. But it didn’t matter, because the Senate immediately tabled the [...]
Who wants to hear about boring old “debt ceiling” issues such as old people being pushed into landfills because of no more money? What America needs is a Way To Laugh Again, and it got that bouquet of clown farts Sunday night as Madame Ex-Speaker Nancy Pelosi called for an official inquisition against Oregon’s best-loved [...]
This should play well in Missouri next year: House majority leader Eric Cantor (R-Meanie) has blocked federal disaster-relief help for Joplin, where an incredible storm and tornado killed at least 122 people and leveled much of the town. Police and firefighters and ambulance workers are still pulling victims from the rubble, and the Republican House [...]
“Foamed polystyrene” is a miraculous invention that manages to be completely awful through every step of its near-eternal “life cycle” — it is manufactured with petroleum that must be imported from Middle East dictatorships, toxic “styrene oligomers” migrate into the food it holds, it’s highly flammable and produces black poisonous smoke, and most of the [...]
