idiots
One thing American God hates nearly as much as poor people and minorities is some liberalz sneaking a Koran inside His national cathedral, which is apparently what happened, and which is also the legal reason (according to the Patriot Act) why God struck the East Coast with a terrible, humiliating earthquake that also toppled His [...]
Her hilarious re-imagining of American History is getting most of the lulz right now, but a guy called “Fact Checker” at the Washington Post has put together a semi-comprehensive list of other major falsehoods the Wasilla Grifter has jabbered into microphones since renting that tour bus. Things she either willfully misrepresented or never comprehended in [...]
Police in Keystone Independence, Missouri, knew just what to do when somebody called about seeing an alleged alligator not bothering anybody on some wooded property somewhere: They drove right over and tried to kill it, by shooting it repeatedly with their rifles. But, eventually, they figured out it was just a concrete lawn ornament. So [...]
Did you know Donald “The Dildo” Trump also has a line of crappy men’s accessories? Apparently true! And you would never ever see such things in real life unless you worked in accounting at some used car dealership in Ocean City, Maryland. But, if for some reason you know one of those CostCo shoppers who [...]
We sure hope Jonah Goldberg doesn’t quit in protest over this, but the Los Angeles Times just described Sarah Palin as a “special-needs case.” (Haha, Jonah Goldberg would never quit the one newspaper that would actually pay him for his dumb column. Money’s money, honey!) Anyway, this is an extremely exciting editorial in that it [...]
Dull turd Tim Pawlenty actually did do something dingbatty enough to qualify him for the second tier of the Republican presidential candidates: He put some fringe-right nutter from the Bush Administration in charge of the Minnesota public school curriculum, and this educational terrorist installed a board of fundamentalist homeschoolers and extremist libertarians who then decided [...]
On this day many awful years ago, Bill Clinton’s government bulldozed and burnt down a rural house full of children and their moms. Why? Eh, who knows. Every couple of years the U.S. government needs to randomly massacre a bunch of its citizens just to keep everybody else in line. (Honestly, if you believe the [...]
Unless we just want to torture some people at brunch by reading it aloud in a comical voice, we steer clear of Maureen Dowd’s cat-lady musings in the Sunday paper. But the self-obsessed dingbat’s latest column apparently targeted 69-year-old singer/songwriter Bob Dylan … because, uh, he didn’t perform enough of his early 1960s material when [...]
We’re not sure how this is news in Tennessee, where schoolteacher John Scopes lost the “Scopes Monkey Trial” (in both the state courts and the U.S. Supreme Court) back in 1925-26, but “Tennessee’s Republican-dominated House of Representatives has overwhelmingly passed a bill that would protect teachers who want to challenge the theory of human evolution.” [...]
Since the Legendary Days of Horrors Past when our SPY magazine would arrive by postal mail with yet another vicious attack on short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump, people have wondered about the uncouth troglodyte’s horrible hairpiece thing hanging over his neanderthal forehead and beady eyes. Now, perhaps, the mystery is solved: The Donald is either building [...]
Haha, did you think she was really going away? NEVER. Not until the last nickel is grifted! Sarah Palin is doing an International Lecture Tour, which will consist of one speech (in India, because why not?) and then a second stop in Fox News’ closest strategic American ally, Israel. You don’t just “go to India,” [...]
