idiots
Oh what is this weird thing we just found in the archives from, uh, 2007? Answers at the bottom. If you’re the kind of DC gal who loves douchesack Young Republicans and you trawl Craigslist for fuck buddies yet you’re still too stupid to find a basic Ronald Reagan biography online, then have we ever [...]
Oh can you believe it was only a hundred years ago when Ronald Reagan was born? Which side of the Civil War did he fight on, anyway? (Answer: He didn’t fight at all, but he was an extra at the Ford Theater the night Lincoln was shot, and later claimed to have played the role [...]
It was a magical year with magical moments, such as this “live mic” (and live camera) recording of vulgar gazillionaire Carly Fiorina running for Barbara Boxer’s Senate seat based on such insights as “Barbara Boxer’s hair is stupid.” In this short video clip, on a single morning in America (June 10, 2010), Carly lost all [...]
Science has finally proven what was always totally obvious: People who get their news from Fox News are the stupidest fucking idiots to ever exist. These cretins have literally no idea what’s going on, with anything. Whether it’s believing that Republicans opposed TARP (it was a big business Republican program created by the Republican administration [...]
On a grim November day just two years ago, the recently defeated GOP candidate for vice president pardoned a turkey. And because she had yet to quit the only real job she ever had — governor of Alaska — she didn’t have all these private jets at her service, so she did the “normal for [...]
Do you enjoy having three or four obese high-school dropouts looking at you naked, through your clothes, simply because you have a plane to catch? Welcome to America! Also, pilots are getting randomly grabbed by these moronic security guards and pointed to the Naked Camera Machines. This one pilot apparently said, “Uh, no, I’m a [...]
Orange-headed Space.com founder and fired cable-news host Lou Dobbs was known for one thing during his long last years of anchoring a CNN show even dumber than Rick’s List: Lou Dobbs HATED the Mexicans. Oh man they drove him NUTS! And once CNN management decided Lou Dobbs was too awful even for CNN, Lou Dobbs [...]
This proud American is going to play “Cowboys & Muslims” by … let’s see, what did Cowboys do to their enemies, in the movies? (Because in real life, as we all know, cowboys just fuck cows and cry for mama.) We are pretty sure pretend cowboys lynched their enemies, the Native Americans or Mexicans or [...]
Espionage heroine Christine O’Donnell took a break from dabbling in witchcraft and eating meatballs and not masturbating to get some super secret classified data from China! And what has she learned from analyzing these documents from Beijing? The Heathen Chinaman is about to invade America!! It’s a terrible burden, to know what’s going to happen [...]
CNN, the once-influential news channel that for the past several years employed a mouth-breathing fool as its main daytime news reader, has finally fired this mouth-breathing fool. Was Rick Sanchez let go because he is an insult to the intelligence of anyone smart enough to operate a teevee remote? No, he was fired for saying [...]
While it’s true the Ivy League is nothing more than a sleepaway camp that churns out future war criminals, this is almost completely unrelated to the simple fact that Christine O’Donnell has absolutely no idea what she’s talking about in the above; she does not even have a vague, distant idea floating gracefully in a [...]
Our nation’s leading pundits can always be expected to act like the gentlemen-scholars they are, especially while riding public transportation. That’s why CNN fringe-right psychopath Erick “RedState” Erickson has just been twittering important eyewitness accounts of bestselling conventional-wisdom hack Thomas Friedman allegedly being a total asshole to some poor Amtrak employee, who apparently didn’t dispose [...]
It’s bad enough to be in a world in which Sarah Palin exists. That right there is a direct refudiation of Gottfried Leibniz. But some people on this planet also have to live with their name being “Sarah Palin,” which refudiates any opposition to assisted suicide. So mostly they have to deal with people making [...]
It turns out that people who worked on Christine O’Donnell’s campaigns think she is dumb and makes terrible decisions. Somebody call Glenn Greenwald! You’re not allowed to make fun of people for being stupid unless they come from one of those dynastic political families he resents! So what has come out so far today in [...]
