illinois
Ha! We get a tip that says “oh, good grief” with a link to some page called “Support Burris,” and we figured it was just some dumb petition to try to keep Roland Burris in office even though his 15 minutes as Senate Clown from Illinois are up. But no, Roland Burris’s ambitions appear to [...]
“SCANDAL MUSHROOMS,” reports the Chicago Sun-Times, and indeed, this scandal is off the hook, mushroom-wise. Latest revelation: “The son of embattled Sen. Roland Burris is a federal tax deadbeat who landed a $75,000-a-year state job under former Gov. Rod Blagojevich five months ago.” Well that just shows how very generous the former governor was, giving [...]
HA HA HA WHOOPS: “U.S. Sen. Roland Burris, who repeatedly denied anyone tied to disgraced former Gov. Rod Blagojevich solicited him for cash in exchange for his seat, now acknowledges Blagojevich’s brother asked him three times to help with fundraising… In a statement released Saturday, Burris said he didn’t disclose the facts because he ‘was [...]
SEXY NEW WINGNUTS!: The readers of the Huffington Post have selected this young man, the 27-year-old Aaron Schock of Peoria, Illinois, as the “hottest freshman” in Congress this year. Sorry ladies, he’s a Republican! His prize will be 45 minutes alone with Arianna in the “Printing Presses Through the Centuries” section of the Newseum. [HuffPo]
Here’s a preview of former Illinois Gov. “Rod” Blagojevich on tonight’s episode of the David Letterman show. This may have been a step too far for Blago — in case you forgot, he has a real trial coming up, for “criminal” charges — because Letterman at 89 years old is still rather deft at asking [...]
Here’s some “street video” of our nation’s own Gandhi/MLK, Rod Blagojevich, just chillin’ with his homies, outside his home. He yells “Yes We Can” in Spanish! A child (fake) asks if Rod will play hoops with the kids this summer! He quickly exploits this child for a photo op! It is a valuable fucking thing, [...]
Hooray, because this fucktard’s sell-by date has long since passed: Rod Blagojevich is gone, thrown out by those communist street organizers in the Illinois Senate — by unanimous vote! Good-bye, Blago! You were really the most shameless, annoying political dingus of this young century, and you were never even funny/terrifying like, say, Sarah Palin. Hope [...]
Over the past two months, Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich charmed his way into America’s heart with his nutty appointment schemes, his liberal use of swear words, his employment of dead babies as stage props, and of course his national media blitz this week when the Illinois state legislature was debating his impeachment. He decided to [...]
Well this is surreal! What a waste of time and taxpayer money this Illinois Senate impeachment trial is, just rehashing comical two-month old quotes from the teevee news. Apparently they played the actual recordings of Blago’s famously profane Senate seat auction, though, and you can listen to them here. He has the voice of an [...]
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How AP writer Michael Tarm resisted the urge to end this headline in ” — no, but seriously, we’re not even joking,” we’ll never know. [AP]
Rod Blagojevich for the win! The comedy continues, as smirking creep Dick Cheney swears in megalomaniacal Death Monument-builder Roland Burris. This marks the end of racism and the Triumph of the Black Spirit. [AP]
One of the more exciting things we did not tell you yesterday, because Ken was too busy Googling for gifs of John McCain’s three heads licking each other, is that Roland Burris finally TRIUMPHED over the racist Senate establishment and will be seated as “the junior senator from Illinois,” which is to say, “the poor [...]
You people thought we were joking about the random black and crippled guilt-bait Blago brought on stage during his press conference, but here they are, alongside, you know, a DEAD ILLINOIS CHILD to whom Blago had tried to deliver cheap prescription drugs, only to find that the evil state legislature had already murdered the child [...]
RACISTS IMPEACH BLAGO: “SPRINGFIELD—In a historic vote, the Illinois House has impeached Gov. Rod Blagojevich, directing the Senate to put the state’s 40th chief executive on trial with the goal of removing him from office. The vote by the House was 114-1 and marks the first time in the state’s 190-year history that a governor [...]
